I Stopped Loving Him Because He Stopped Loving Me

February 6, 2017

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  Hi, DJ Chloe!

  Just call me Kitchie (please don’t reveal my real name). I just want to ask for an advice. I have a boyfriend and we are almost eight years together. We have a son though we are not married yet nor living together. We only spend time together as a family during weekends where we stay at his mom’s house. We are both working and weekend is the only time we see each other. We’ve been through a lot and we are always fighting about him being involved with another girl. I caught him numerous times. Since I love him so much, I always forgive him. We went to the point wherein we are no longer happy but in my heart he is still the person I want to spend the rest of life with. Sobrang mahal na mahal ko siya kasi siya ang unang lalaki na minahal ko at mahalaga siya sa buhay ko. Until three weeks ago he called me up and told me na may mahal na siyang iba. Alam ko naman na meron na kasi iba na siya sa akin. Naging sobrang lamig na niya. Parang nagkikita na lang kami para sa anak namin. Ang hirap tanggapin nu’ng narinig ko ‘yung mga salita na may mahal na siyang iba. Just today, we talked personally and he said sorry. I asked if he still loves me and he said “yes” pero sabi niya na ‘di naman daw pwede na dalawa kami sa buhay niya. He wanted us to be friends and be parents to our son. Gusto pa rin naman daw niyang ayusin ‘yung sa amin pero ‘di niya masabi kung kailan. I told him that I will be waiting for him and hoping that one day he will tell that I’m the only girl for him and will get things back together as a family. When I said that sinabi niya na, “ikaw ang nagsabi niyan”. Nasaktan ako kasi parang sa kanya ‘di na siya babalik pa. Sinabi ko na hihinto lang ako ‘pag may nabuntis na siyang babae at piniling pakasalan. Ewan kung tama ba na sabihin ko sa kanya na maghihintay ako at umaasa na magbago siya. Pero gusto ko kasi na maramdaman niya ‘yung pagmamahal at halaga niya sa akin. Mahal na mahal ko siya at gusto kong mabuo kami bilang isang pamilya. DJ Chloe, ayokong isipin na naghihintay ako sa wala. Alam ko na sa panahon ng paghihintay sa kanya madaming pwedeng mangyari. Please help me. Thanks!

  Hi, Kitchie!

  Thank you for your letter.

  You know, Kitchie. That’s the surest way to die every day–staying, holding on to someone who doesn’t truly love you.

  Sa eight years ni hindi ka naisip or inalok magpakasal?

  You want him to change? You’re willing to wait for him to. What about you? Don’t you want to change? Don’t you want to at least give yourself a rest from being with someone who doesn’t see your worth?

  Take this opportunity to rebuild yourself, dear. It seems you’ve been torn into pieces. Find yourself again. Rebuild yourself and start loving yourself.

  There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a whole family. But in order to achieve that you need to have a willing partner who shares the same vision and looks at the same direction you’re looking at. This guy, is clearly not that person I’m talking about.

  Sometimes, we have to accept the fact that a person can just be a part of our life but not meant to be a part of our future.

  

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