I Don’t Think I Deserve This

February 16, 2017

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  Dear DJ Chloe,

  First of all, if  you’re reading this, thank you.

  I never really thought that one day I will be here, on your page, sending you a message.

  All the while I thought I have or had a perfect life. All the while I thought I married someone exceptional, someone who is not at all like what the women on your page complain of.

  Hindi pala, after 15 years, I found out there’s another kid carrying my husband’s name, another boy who’s only a year younger than our eldest daughter.

  Nakak baliw DJ Chloe, nakakawala ng wisyo, nakakapandilim ng paningin.

  I know I should not hate the kid but part of me does, because ang dapat na para lang sa anak ko, makakakuha pa siya.

  Maramot na kung maramot, kung maramot ako mas masama naman sila.

  I have decided I will leave my husband and just be single mother to my child.

  I can no longer live, sleep every night beside a man who literally fooled me and crushed me.

  Forgive him? Maybe yes, but not now.

  I’m sorry, I don’t have anyone whom I can confide what I really feel.

  Nahihiya ako, na nagagalit,  pasensya na, DJ Chloe.

  Sana mapagpayuhan mo ako, kung tama ba ang mga desisyon ko.

  Jem

  Hi Jem! :)

  I feel you, ramdam kita.

  For now, you need time to think, to re assess everything. Hindi lang ikaw ang involve dito, you also have a child to think of and to explain to why you are coming to that decision and why her family is falling apart.

  Jem, just as you don’t make promised when you’re happy, you also should not make decisions when you’re mad.

  You need to pray a lot and ask God to decide for you, to let you know His will and not just go on with yours.

  I understand you felt cheated, and if you decide to move on with your life and leave your husband that is totally understandable.

  Some marriages gets another chance to be restored after being ruined by an affair, others wala ng pag-asa, magkameron man, lamat na lamat na.

  ‘Wag mo na lang isipin, Jem, na mainis sa bata, na anak niya sa iba. That child doesn’t have a choice, if he does I’m sure he would choose another set of parents. Hindi kasi natin talaga mapipili ang magulang natin di rin natin mapipili ang magiging anak natin.

  You need to cry Jem, and if you need to feel anger, go ahead. You have all the right but remember that in your anger, do not sin. Napakahirap, pero ‘yun ang dapat.

  Don’t decide for now, allow a little time for retrospection, talk to your husband too. And let him know what he has done to you, in your words.

  Above all, seek the support of your own family. You know, only after a heartbreak, you will realize that your family is the only thing that’s constant in this world. Pamilya mo pa rin ang sasambot sa’yo, at the end of the day.

  

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