The Toxic Boss

May 15, 2017

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  Hi, thanks for reading my message. Hope you can help me with my problem. Please hide my identity. Just call me “Kate.” I’ve been working in a government institution with great salary and benefits. I really love my job and serving people especially the unfortunate. With all their gratitude for our untiring services, this is just one of the reason I’m staying. Until one day, I’m no longer happy with my job. I started to become unproductive after being degraded so much by my boss. I just tried to forget it every time it happens until my boss degraded me of my own profession. I’m starting to wonder which is reasonable, does an employee need to be happy in his/her job? Or does he/she need to be practical and get along with since it really happens anywhere? I wanna know your opinion. Btw, I also have children and I am the only one working in my family that’s why I have been struggling to be more patient and I always thought I have to sacrifice for the sake of my family. I hope you can help me.

  Degrading words my boss would tell me are mostly personal, kung gaano ako kataba. Sinasabihan niya din kahit chief staff namin in front of junior staff. Kahit pabiro, lagi po niya inuulit ‘yun. ‘Di siya nagmumura kasi very classy siya and sophisticated like Kris Aquino. So nangde-degrade siya not only how you look but how stupid you are. It’s like she’s already saying na you don’t fit to be a licensed practitioner and you are just tiny little thing na useless. If she gets humiliated of something we did wrong, even if it’s not true, she will push you to admit it. Kahit ang totoo you never did it. She will look for qualified staff to be her spy in our unit para may magreport sa kanya. Mostly junior staff. The bottom line is she has trust issue since I came there. I love my job there but I also want to leave na kasi sobrang nakakaapekto mentally and emotionally ‘yung mga sinasabi nya. It is too much.

  Kate,

  Only you can tell what is too much.

  Yes, we sacrifice and we hold on even to jobs we hate because of our children, that is so true. Lahat titiisin natin because we need something sustaining.

  This boss of yours, only shows how much of a power tripper she is. Her attitude shows how much of an insecure person she is. Boss na boss talaga siya. Never a leader.

  Well Kate, as I’ve told you in our chat conversation, I, too, have an encounter with a boss from hell.. She spits fire when sales are going down, nagmumura siya in Chinese. Na pag narinig mo siyang parating maririnig mo kaba ng dibdib mo. Bago magstart ang meeting namin grabe na panalangin ko na hindi ako ang mapagtripan dahil libangan niyang mamahiya ng empleyado. ‘Yung pahiyang-pahiya ka na halos pakiramdam mo ‘di ka na tao.

  I came to a point na napapanaginipan ko na siya, so I left.

  Well, you wouldn’t be talking to me now if I stayed and allowed her to treat me that way.

  Just as you are in that job, you will still be able to find something that can give you fulfillment and be able to sustain you minus the “degrading boss.”

  Kung may natutunan ako sa boss from hell kong’ yun, it’s to appreciate every boss I have now who is not, at all, like her.

  There is no perfect management, no perfect boss, but to be degraded and humiliated is not an excuse to stay in a job that pays well yet crushes your spirit.

  Kung malaki sweldo mo start saving and consider leaving, hanap ka muna malilipatan, then resign effective immediately.

  Oh, with my boss form hell? Nakarma siya ng bongga. :)

  

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