You Are What You Repeatedly Do

August 7, 2017

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

  I’m an avid Easy Rock listener and a follower of Chloe’s Inbox. It took me many times of thinking kung i-sh-share ko ba ‘tong story ko. Now, finally, here I am at sana maging eye opener ‘to sa mga tulad ko mas pinapairal ‘yung feelings over their minds or brain.
  Please hide my identity po.

  Please. Please. Please. Call me Heart. I’ve been in a very complicated situation of relationship. Sad to say it happened twice. I’m still single at the age of 35. And many are asking ba’t single pa din ako. Eh kasi nga hindi ko naman basta pwede sabihin na I’m in a relationship with a married man. The first relationship I had lasted for almost seven years. I was 23 then and he happens to be my very first boyfriend (and my first everything). Sadly, because of the situation ako na din ‘yung napagod at naggive up kasi nga no matter what happens ‘yung family and wife niya pa din ‘yung priority niya. Five years after nagdecide ako to go and working abroad at dito ko na nakilala si Earl.

  He befriended me .Tapos palagi kami magkausap thru WeChat and Facebook Messenger. Mabilis ‘yung pangyayari, naging kami kaagad. Kaso married din siya. Pero during those times may problem sila ng wife niya at talgang hindi na sila magkasundo kaya nakikipaghiwalay siya. Dumating din sa point na nalaman ng wife niya ‘yung relasyon namin at dun ko nakita na ako ‘yung pinili niya over his wife bukod pa dun napaniwala niya ko na hihiwalayan na niya ‘yung wife niya. To make the story short, DJ Chloe, we’re supposed to be on our 3rd year nang never ako inaway ng wife nya. Knowing na strong na ‘yung foundation ng relationship namin hindi ko akalain may iba pa palang makakasira nito. Nauna ako umuwi ng one year sa kanya dito sa Pilipinas, but we’re okay. Araw-gabi magka video call kami. So parang ang lapit lang namin sa isa’t-isa. Hindi ko alam na may something na palang nagaganap a month before siya umuwi. Although may mga napapansin na ‘ko sa kanya. I’ve tried to ignore kasi sabi ko baka masyado lang ako kinakain ng pagkaselosa ko. Hanggang sa nakauwi na nga siya dito. Naopen ko ‘yung phone niya at nabasa lahat ng conversations nila nu’ng new girl na kinalolokohan niya. Sobrang sakit po ng malaman ko ‘yun. Kaya nu’ng nag confrontation na kami iyak ako ng iyak at tinatanong ko siya bakit niya nagawa sa’kin ‘yun.

  Hindi pa dyan natapos ‘yung sakit DJ Chloe. The worst thing pa e nu’ng pinaramdam niya sa’kin mas priority na niya ‘yung bagong girl kesa sa’kin. Ang bilis talag ng karma. ‘Yan agad naisip ko kasi ‘yung pinaramdam niya sa wife niya sa pagpili niya sa’kin before e bumalik sa’kin. Nakabalik na ulit siya abroad ngayon at dahil hindi ko na din mkayanan ‘yung sitwasyon namin just recently nakipaghiwalay na din ako. Mahirap pa din sa ngayon at masakit pagnaalala ko lahat. Pero siguro ito na ‘yung mas tama kong gawin kesa hintayin na bumalik ulit ‘yung dating kami. Tama na na umasa pa ‘ko. Napakarami niya masasakit na nagawa sa’kin. Kaya kahit anong pakiusap niya na kami pa din at magbalikan kami and give him another chance, titiisin ko na lang kahit mahal na mahal ko pa siya. Please, give me advice, DJ. Tama na ba talaga ‘yung desisyon ko na maglet go of him na lang? Tama lang ba na wala ng second chance akong ibigay? Please give me an advice.

  Heart

  Dear Heart,

  If you’re asking me if you made the right decision of letting him go and not giving him another chance, of course, I would tell you that you made and you’re making right decision. Not because you caught him cheating, lying but because he is still married.

  He doesn’t have any plans of leaving the wife, at the end of the day, the wife and the kids will be his priority.

  Magulo ang relasyon nila dahil nandyan ka. Maaring may ibang reasons pa but you are the biggest reason for having trouble in their marriage, and his weakness with women. Merong isa pa, ‘di ba? In between you and the wife there’s another girl, hahahahaha. What a very complicated situation and life.

  At the end of the day, it’s a decision you have to make, of what course of action to take.

  Karma, could be, but we are always the product of our decisions. You have chosen to have a relationship with a married man and with it comes heartache and uncertainties and guilt, assuming na kahit pano nakokonsensya ka pa naman.

  Siguro naman, it’s high time you tell yourself I’ve had enough. Nagkamali ka na sa unang pagpatol sa may asawa, inulit mo pa, do you expect a different outcome for doing the same thing?

  Try mo gawin ang mas challenging next time. Ang single naman ang patulan, mas masaya kasi pwede kayong mamasyal ng ‘di nagtatago, at pinaka masayang part? Wala kang kaagaw. J

  

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