Don’t Expect Too Much

August 16, 2017

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  Hi Chloe!

  I’m Alex and for 25 years I am consistently single. Companionship has been may quest since I was 21 and it was a rough journey. Flirts, dates, one-night stands, all of them made me feel the pain of break-up of a relationship that never started. Then I met this person, not so wonderful but there is a certain harmony. Let’s say, same wave length.

  Siya ‘yung pinaka matagal na nameet ko (4-5 months vs 1-2months). I don’t know kung sino ba ang nagkaproblema; ako ba na umasa o siya na nagpaasa. I just woke up one day with a feeling that he is not interested anymore. He started being too nice until things got boring. ‘Pag nag tatanong ako okay pa naman daw. Then it will be followed by a silence for some questions that he can’t answer. I can feel he knows the answer but he can’t tell knowing I’ll move away from him. After those conversations biglang ang okay na okay ulit, parang pini-please niya ako ‘pag alam niya na I’m parting. Wala naman sa’kin kung ayaw n’ya. I’m not gonna beg or cry but I need a straight-forward answer. Right now, we are not talking na. Ako na ang nagsimula, nararamdaman kong kung tatagal pa lalo lang akong masasaktan. But I still have untold word for him. I don’t know kung dapat ko pa bang sabihin. Natatakot ako na baka ako lang pala ‘yung nag-assume on my end.

  Alex

  Hi Alex,

  Forgive me for not being able to give you a good advice. An advice that will help you. Kasi hindi ko alam ang ganitong klaseng relasyon.

  Ang alam ko kasi, words and actions are both needed to validate each other.

  I came from a time when people meet other people, go out on dates, and if they click, profess love for each other first, get into a commitment, start a relationship and eventually end up being together or part ways because they found out they were not meant for each other.  In short, nagkakaroon ng relasyon. May maliwanag  na pang-unawa kung mag-ano sila. Dahil may usapan sila, na sila na, gets mo?

  I guess, you just have to face the fact that things that do not have a start do not also have an end. Lahat ng bagay will always be based on assumptions–relationships, commitments, don’t work that way. It’s a matter of kayo o hindi kayo. And that you have to validate thru words and actions.

  Siguro, it would help, if you give yourself a break and know what it is you really want.  Kilalanin mo muna ang sarili mo.

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