You Can’t Have Everything

August 29, 2017

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

  I have tried a hundred time na sumulat sa’yo pero ngayon lang ako ngakaguts na gawin ‘to, DJ Chloe, please give me some advice. How to unlove someone you love? Kasi I felt na ito na lang ang paraan para maging maayos ang lahat. I’ve been married for 18 years now, blessed with a wonderful daughter. Kaso si husband keeps on cheating on me. May confirmed and may mga kutob lang ako. Ayoko na mag-usisa to lessen the pain. Pero every time na I will ask him lagi niya ‘ko sinasagot na kung ‘yun daw ang tingin ko eh maghiwalay na kami. Laging hiwalayan ang option niya. Where in fact he left me and his daughter before. Bumalik lang siya ulit after few months of leaving our house. We’re having a good life, DJ Chloe. And ayokong mahirapan kami ng anak ko ‘pag nagkahiwalay kami ng tatay niya. Kaya gusto ko na mamanhid sa mga pain and sufferings ko. Am thinking na magiging okay ako that way. Please help.

  Love lots,

  Confused Wife

  You have been married 18 years, you have endured being left by your husband, then binalikan ka. Binalikan ka kasi ikaw ang asawa. The way I see it, ang pinakafear mo talaga and problem mo is not his pambababae. Natiis mo na ‘to ng 18 years. What you fear the most is losing “the good life” you are enjoying/having while being his wife. Well you won’t if you use your head. Una, make sure you get an investment where your money will work for you while you sleep. Ask about it kasi there are a lot of companies offering such. I’m talking about variable insurance. Second, save and save and save. And again invest it where it grows and come up with a little business of your own. ‘Wag kang timawa na nag-aantay lang lagi ng sulit ng asawa mo sa’yo. Baka ‘di mo alam may anak na sa iba ‘yan at malas mo pag nakakuha ‘yan ng babaeng marunong at nakakausap niya maliban sa napapasaya siya sa kama. Malaki na anak mo pwede ka nang mag-isip ng fall back na negosyo mo. You can bake, learn how to be a hairdresser, set up a salon or maybe if you love selling, get involved into a business na hilig mo. A hobby can be a business too. Hindi rason na first year college lang ang tinapos mo at 17 ka nag-asawa. Isa lang anak mo. 17 ka pa ba ngayon? I’m sure hindi na. You have a fancy car as I’ve seen on your profile. Why not Grab or Uber it? During your extra hours na wala kang magawang productive. Napakaswerte mo babaero lang asawa mo. Imagine ang iba, babaero na, iresponsable pa. 18 years mo na siyang asawa, pinapatawad mo sa pambababae palagi dahil ayaw mong maghirap ka? Magtiisan na lang kayo. ‘Di ka mamumulubi, masama lang loob mo lagi pero ‘di ka naman napapagod at nagugutom, ‘di ba? Pili ka? Mahal na mahal ka walang babae pero batugan at wala kang “good life”. Ganun talaga, neng. YOU CANNOT HAVE IT ALL. I can’t tell you naman na pagbigyan mo sa hiwalay na gusto niya kasi nga ‘di mo kaya. Where will you go? What will you do? How will you get by, ‘di ba? Ganun talaga. It’s a choice we have to make eh. Kaya importante na kahit pano may kaya kang gawin. ‘Di ka masasabihang “kumakain ka lang dahil sa’kin. ”

  

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