When The Husband Lies…

September 14, 2017

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

  I hope you can help me with my problem. I’ve been married for four years (no kids yet) tapos four years din kami boyfriend/girlfriend ni husband before getting married. Before we got married, I decided to enroll in a post-graduate program that required me to be a full-time student. S’yempre I told him about it and he said na I should go for my dreams and he will support me kahit na siya lang muna magwork. Fast forward to two years into our marriage, parang bigla siyang nag-iba.

  Lagi na niya akong sinusumbatan na dapat nagwo-work na ako kasi hirap na hirap na siya when in fact ang bills na iniintindi niya is ‘yung sa personal cards niya, our food and ‘yung car na hinuhulugan monthly kasi my parents were kind enough to give us a condo to stay in and they pay for all my needs in school. S’yempre inintindi ko na lang ‘yung madalas niyang galit sa akin kasi baka nga pabigat na ako. But recently I had this feeling na he was cheating on me and I confirmed it one night while he was asleep, I saw this message pop up on his office phone: “good night ” Tapos when I opened his phone, I saw that he was talking to different girls using a messaging app tapos doon sa isang girl na kausap niya pinag-uusapan pa nila ano gagawin nilang “fun” pagnagkita sila. Then sa isa pang girl naman ino-offer niyang siya maghahatid sa kanya sa school, etc. After reading their exchanges sobrang nasaktan ako. Alam ko naman may mga pagkukulang ako sa kanya and ganun din naman siya sa akin pero hindi naman po reason ‘yun para magcheat, ‘di ba? Ngayon hindi ko po alam kung ico-confront ko ba siya about it and try to fix things with him kasi I really don’t know if I can trust him ever again. Thanks po for taking time to read my story.

  Regards,
  Torn & Confused

  You went back to school, with his permission naman and it’s your parents paying for it, plus you’re both staying in a condo given by your parents. Anong inaangal niya? Na siya nagpapakain sa’yo? Obligasyon niya ‘yun daihl asawa ka niya.

  Wala na nga siyang binabayaran sa bahay eh, libre na kayo. ‘Di naman siya nagpapaaral sa’yo kundi magulang mo at kung sakaling makatapos ka, sino ba makikinabang nun? ‘Di ba kayo naman at ang magiging mga anak niyo?

  So pano kang pabigat kung personal cards niya binabayaran niya? Nabibigatan siya kasi nambabae siya so marami siyang extra expenses na ikaw ang sinisisi niya. Kung bakit kasalanan mo ‘yun ay hindi ko ma-explain. Siguro kasi nabibigatan siyang pakainin ka?

  Your husband is such an ungrateful person lalo sa mga magulang mo considering na tinutulungan pa kayo ng parents mo. Hence the place you’re staying is given by your parents. Inggrato siya sobra para suklian niya ang kabutihan ng magulang mo ng pagpapasakit at pagbibigay ng sama ng loob sa’yo.

  Yes, confront him about it, let him know you know what he’s doing.

  For sure magde-deny ‘yan. Pero ‘di dapat pinapalampas ang ganyang Gawain. May fun fun pa siyang nalalaman. Give him all the fun he wants. Ask him to leave your place and get lost!

  Or forgive him and be miserable everyday thinking if he is doing a lot of fun behind your back. It’s as simple as that.

  

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