The First Step To Moving On Is Acceptance

September 27, 2017

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  Dear DJ Chloe,

  Good day to the most elegant DJ I know! Please hide my identity. Matagal na kong listener lalo na sa office and I really love how you give advice to other listeners. Gusto ko rin sana humingi ng advice. I have two kids (they are both in high school). Separated na kami ng father nila and I’m only 34 years old. And may nakalive-in ako for seven years. Maganda naman ang relationship namin. Wala kong masasabi sa bait at sipag niya at generosity. Pero this end of May lang nag-away kami. ‘Yung tipong away na halos same issues lang naman din for the past seven years. Sobra lang akong nabigla dahil ‘yung araw na ‘yun mismo ‘yung araw na nakipaghiwalay na siya sa akin. Ayaw na daw niya. Wala na daw pag-uusapan. Nakiusap ako, sinuyo, tinatawagan ko siya pero talgang wala na. Apat na buwan na rin ang lumipas. ‘Yung feeling na akala mo okay ka na, then all of a sudden may sudden pain na mararamdaman mo lalo na pag may nalaman ka about sa kanya.

  Ang masakit pa, DJ Chloe, sa seven years naming nagsama never niya ko pinakilala sa family niya. They’re from Mindanao at siya lang ang nasa Manila since nakilala ko siya. Many times kami nagplan na umuwi noon sa kanila pero hindi natutuloy eh. Tapos malalaman mo na lang na umuwi siya sa kanila after two months na magkahiwalay kami. Hindi na ‘ko umasa na babalik siya dahil alam kong malayo na siya. Pero nabalitaan ko na naman na nakabalik siya. Parang nagkaroon ako ng pag-asa na baka babalik siya. Pero hindi eh. Hanggang sa nakita ko na may bago na siyang Facebook account at iniba niya pangalan niya. Nalaman ko rin na babalik ulit siya sa province and I don’t know what to feel. Ang hirap palang umasa. Gusto ko na rin naman makawala sa feelings na ‘to. Siguro ang dami kong tanong kaya hindi ako totally makamove on. Please give me an advice. Thanks and more power!

  Ms. Emotional20

  Dear Ms. Emotional20,

  So, our main problem here is you’re having a hard time accepting what happened and moving on?

  Hindi naman madaling kalimutan lang ang seven years but it seems to me na siguro, nagkaron siya ng change of heart. He was probably falling out of love and you were clueless about it. As you’ve said and naging cause ng away niyo eh dati niyo nang pinag-aawayan na hindi mo nabanggit kung ano.

  Of all, ang pinakamahirap eh ‘yung iwanan ka ng walang explanation, so I really understand how you feel right now. Maybe for now you don’t understand yet why this is happening but believe me, eventually, you will know and you will be thankful why he left.

  At least now, you can focus on the things that really matters like your kids and yourself.

  Mahirap, pero kakayanin mo. Isipin mo na lang, for years hindi ka naipakilala sa pamilya there must be a reason for that. ‘Di kaya married na siya doon?

  Well, we can only keep on guessing why. But you know what, all is fair in love and in war. Be thankful for the memories and the goodness he has shown you and your kids. And wish him well. ‘Di mo rin alam baka pagdating sa dulo kayo pa rin.

  

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