Sometimes Leaving Is The Answer

March 7, 2018

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

  Good afternoon. I was wondering if wishing for my parent’s separation is a bad thing? Because they’ve been fighting for 20+ years over my father’s drinking habits. Kasi kapag lasing father ko, lagi niya kaming inaaway, minumura, sinisigawan. Naaawa na ako sa mother ko, na btw, our only provider since I was born. Laging sinasabi ng mama ko, maghiwalay na lang sila. Dati ‘di ko pinapansin kasi alam ko ‘di niya gagawin. Pero this time, gusting-gusto ko ng ituloy niya.

  Actually, he’s my step father po. Kaya ayaw ko sa lahat ‘yung iiyak mama ko. At sa tuwing maglalasing si papa at mang-aaway, bumabalik po lahat sa akin na akala ko okay na ako. This time po, gusto ko namang feelings ko unahin ni mama. Pero sa tingin ko hindi pa rin niya magagawa. Thank you.

  Miserable Daughter

  Hi Girl,

  If you are old enough to live on your own, I would suggest you leave them both and be on your own.  Because you’ve been thru hell a whole lot already. Hindi biro ang lumaki sa environment na violent, may verbal abuse and all.

  But if not, magtiis ka muna. Alalayan mo muna nanay mo. I do not know what her reasons are but I am saddened by the fact na nakakapagtiis siya ng ganyan at hindi niya alam that you are suffering in silence.  Maybe kaya nagtitiis siya para “buo” kunyari ang pamilya niyo, kahit alam niyang hindi.

  Baka kailangan niyong tulungan din ang stepdad mo, baka kailangan iparehab. Alcoholic eh, he needs treatment. Have you guys tried?

  Have you talked to your mom about this? About how you feel?  I think you have to let her know.

  Take care of yourself while you are with them. You need to be and to stay sane for your mother.

  Mahirap kasi sa ganito, iisipin mong okay lang na tratuhin ka rin ng ganyan ng asawa mo dahil ‘yan ang nakita mo at kinalakihan mo. At sa paulit-ulit na naririnig mo na minumura ka, maaring maniwala ka na na ganun ka nga kung anuman ang sinasabi niya sa’yo or tawag niya sa’yo.

  Please don’t. Just try as much as you can to lessen your exposure with them. Especially him. Although alam kong mahirap for now.

  

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