Stop living a life full of lies

May 21, 2019

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

  I don’t know if this is the proper way to send my letter to you. Hope you could give me an advice. I am Mina, 29 years old. When I was 19, I met my second cousin Tony when he visited Manila to find a job and stayed at our house for a while. Problem is I fell for him. I know it’s against every law of man and God, but it was the first time I wanted someone that bad. My parents became suspicious about our relationship and warned that they will do anything to stop whatever is going on between us. Pinalayas siya ‘di ko kinaya kaya sumunod ako sinabi ko na lang na may hiring sa Manila and as a fresh grad I need to find work. I followed him, we met at the church and commuted to Manila without knowing what’s ahead of us. I borrowed money from friends, and we stayed at his second cousin’s house but not related to me. We stayed there and I started my job we moved to an apartment. He tried to find job for years but was not hired. He has been a house partner for almost 10 years now. I’m in a good position in a company and I’m the one paying for everything since we started together. My family didn’t see me for two (2) years since I left, until now I’m hiding the truth to them. They just knew I was living alone. I made a decision in my life I know someday I’ll be regretting. Now I met a colleague whom I’m starting to fall for. It’s the first time in 10 years of my cousin and I being together that I had eyes for someone else. We share same thoughts, we like the same things, he loves music, arts, and nature, so do I. We started to go out with one of our friends, a married woman older than us. We are really close, the three (3) of us. We even chill on Friday nights together. Even when our third friend is not around. He respects me well; he has good relationship with God. We spent team buildings with two (2) of us alone under the stars by the sea. We enjoyed every moment together. He gives me the feelings I never thought I will feel. I know I am falling for him but I’m torn between the man I’m with for nine (9) years and a man I just started to feel spark with for a month. I started to detach from my partner even in small ways, though we still live together. I’ve given up the hope of being married and have kids because of this person but now I’m dreaming of getting married and having a family someday. This is because this guy friend whom I felt strong connection with, whom I believe is my soul mate. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I’m going to end my long-term relationship. We even have pets together that we love so much but should I correct all my mistake in life now? I don’t know but I’m really happy with my guy friend. There’s not a day that I won’t think of him. Sometimes I think this is God’s way of me renewing my life and be on the right path and finally break free from the sins and lies I committed to family and friends, who love me dearly. I hope you can help me decide, DJ Chloe. Thank you for reading this through, more power to you, and God bless.

  Mina

  Hi Mina,

  10 years na ang parusa sa’yo for not obeying and respecting your parents. 10 years ikaw ang bumuhay sa kanya. Minsan gusto ko ng maniwala, may mga lalaking hahayaan ka or pababayaan ka pag nakita nilang kaya mo mag-isa. While some men want to feel needed, some men wouldn’t want any responsibility. Ang bigat na, ‘di ba? Plus, the fact na tago ang relationship niyo, and until now you are still disrespecting your parents and living a life full of lies. Will you get to realize all of these kaya if not for the “new guy” who you believe is your soulmate? And by the way, alam ba ni “Tony” ang tungkol sa new guy? See? This is the perfect example na wala talagang mapapala ang sinuman sa pagmamadali. Your parents knew it was just a phase. And that eventually magbabago ang pakiramdam o pagtingin mo sa pinsan mo. Sana mabasa ito ng mga kabataan na nasa ganitong sitwasyon ngayon at ang tingin sa magulang nila ay isang malaking kontrabida sa pelikula. I must admit, I was also once like you, iba nga lang istorya ng buhay ko. Matigas ang ulo, kaya napala ko din ang dapat kong mapala, hahaha. Pero mabait ang Diyos. Hindi niya ako pinabayaang mapariwara. Mina, I support you if you will decide to rectify the things you’ve done. Makipaghiwalay sa pinsan mo at mamuhay ng mag-isa. Hindi lang ako matutuwa kung makikipaghiwalay ka dahil lang may thrill kang nararamdaman na bago sa pakiramdam mo dito sa bagong lalaki sa buhay mo. You’ve lived a life full of lies. This time try mo naman magsabi ng totoo, for all you know, this situation you’re in is trying to teach you a lesson. And that’s being truthful. Sinungaling ka sa magulang mo, ngayon nagsisinungaling ka na naman sa house partner mo. ‘Di ka pa ba napapagod? You have the right to be really happy and that’s not impossible. It starts with being truthful.

  

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