Chloe’s Inbox – If he’s real, he’ll go through it with you

September 14, 2019

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  Hey DJ Chloe,

  I’m in a relationship with this guy for almost a year now. For the first four (4) months we were fine. We may not be that sweet nor do we do the typical things that couples do, but we were there for each other and we made each other feel loved and cared for. On our fifth month, things started going downhill. I know it was because he is starting to be unhappy. I came from a problematic family and even though my family’s problems did not affect him directly, it hit me hard. It also came to a point wherein I started losing passion on things I used to love doing. The financial and emotional problems became unbearable. I knew I was ready to commit to our relationship. I know I love him. But I never knew that this would be the kind of struggles I will be facing in life while I am In love with him. I guess maybe I became too unhappy for him.

  Too serious with dealing with everything. I then noticed that he started to be dismissive every time I open up my problems to him. He just doesn’t seem to care like before anymore. He little by little stopped making time for “us” and he seldom asks what is up with me and how am I. He even deleted some of our photos posted on his Instagram account. I was really scared and worried. I asked him what was wrong. Because if it was because of my shortcomings I would make it up to him and would compromise. If it’s  my attitude, why can’t he just tell me so I know where I went wrong and how will I fix it. It was only on our 8^th month when he told me on a phone call that it seems like he is holding a shard of glass on his palm. He said I am that shard of glass. He said that even if I take care of him and do amazing things in this life, I’m too sad.

  Too sad that he thinks he would miss all the opportunities life could offer to an adventurous and curious guy like him. After hearing those words I kept on apologizing. I did my best to be positive; to stay true to my emotions but to manage them as well so that I won’t be too miserable for him. What shocked me and devastated was finding out from our common friend that he is seeing someone out. A church mate of mine who is almost two (2) years younger than me. I still have not confronted him about it because he’s been avoiding my calls and messages. And the only thing I know is that he told our friend that he wants someone like me, but not me. And indeed he found one. A girl who likes the same things as me, has almost the same facial features, quirks and habits and has the same dreams and vision. Only that the girl I was told he was seeing is jolly and much more charming and much more fun to be with. I want to talk to him. I want to release all the pain that has bottled up. But honestly I don’t have the strength to see him yet. He’s like a love letter I can’t read anymore. Because I can’t bear to look at it. But it’s the same love letter I can’t throw away. I don’t know what to do because my mind is so confused I’m still hurting. I hope that by sending you this letter DJ Chloe I’ll be able to find the strength to stand up again and do what I should do?

  Sincerely,

  Your now avid fan

  Hi Girl!

  I would like to think that you both are still young, well maybe not in your teens anymore, but maybe not too mature yet to even consider staying together for good.

  Forgive him for wanting more.  I guess bata pa siya, and that’s not his fault.

  But then I believe now you know, the people who doesn’t want to be there during your pains and your brokenness, don’t also deserve to be there during your happiness and success.

  Maybe he got tired of being your soundboard, and he also cannot do anything about your problems because they’re more of a family problem.

  Be happy you’ve learned this early that you can’t count on him. A man who truly loves you may not be able to solve all your problems but he won’t let you go through it alone.

  For now, learn to thrive and survive this heartbreak, but be happy it showed you his true colors.

  Be alone for a while, and be happy alone if you are able to do that then, being with someone doesn’t become a necessity.

  Pray about it as much as you’re hurting about it. Soon enough you will be thankful that he walked away from you. Because we all deserve people in our lives who won’t walk away from us when we need them most.

  

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