Chloe’s Inbox – Broken trust is the hardest to repair

September 16, 2019

• 

  Hello DJ Chloe,

  I’ve been hearing your amazing pieces of advice on the radio and I wanted to share my current situation.

  I have a girlfriend and we’ve been together for two (2) years now. Within those two years she has cheated on me two times. I’ve dealt with the problem calmly and we’ve both addressed it and now that’s all in the past. Here’s the thing, I know it’s in the past now but I can’t help myself but think that she might do it again. There was this one time that I’ve been sick for a month and I haven’t seen her in a month because my illness was contagious. There is this one person in our circle of friends that doesn’t socialize very well, let’s just hide his name as “Ron”. Ron only socializes to a handful of people and it only happens if it’s either necessary or he really treats them as a friend. One of the people he decided to socialize with is my girlfriend. At first, I didn’t mind because it’s just my girlfriend making friends and Ron being able to socialize again. But as time passes by, I feel like my girlfriend is more open with what’s going on with her life to Ron more than me. I tried talking to my girlfriend about it and she said na “wala naman kaming ginagawang masama” and technically she’s right.

  That’s the hard part for me, I feel like Ron and my girlfriend are close to the point that they’re “too” close. I can’t tell my girlfriend that she should stay away from Ron because technically they’re not doing anything, and I can’t afford another argument with her regarding the matter. I also couldn’t tell Ron to stay away from my girlfriend cause as his friend, he barely socializes, and I don’t want to take away a friend from him. What do I do DJ Chloe? As I’ve said earlier, until now the thought still haunts me that she might cheat on me again. Am I just overthinking this? Is this my senses telling me that something is wrong and I should do something? I’d appreciate your advice. DJ Chloe.

  Sincerely,

  A troubled fan

  Hi there!!

  Always trust your gut feel. Your girlfriend should understand where you’re coming from, and the mere fact na pinatawad mo na siya from two previous “cheating episodes”, she should know how her closeness to Ron would make you feel, and that’s uncomfortable.

  If this girlfriend of yours really loves you, she would keep away from doing things that would make you doubt. Dapat nga panay ang panghihilot niya ngayon sa’yo eh, kasi until now, you’re still bothered na baka umulit na naman siya.

  I believe people change naman. Bilib nga ako sa’yo eh, you’ve forgiven her twice. Sa iba niyan once lang, wala na kasi once trust is broken, it’s so hard to repair.

  Be honest with her and tell her how it makes you feel, honesty is the best policy, ‘di ba? If she loves you enough, she will understand, and will make you feel secured by knowing where she should stand.

  If you can’t handle your paranoia, I’d say you let her go. You deserve someone you can trust.

  

• COMMENTS