Chloe’s Inbox – If he loves you enough, he will be faithful

September 20, 2019

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

  I just want to share my story to you, hoping for an advice because I really don’t know what to do. So, I had a boyfriend and itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang Phil. I met him during my freshmen years in college, we were block mates and I’m so fond of him because he’s an “easy to go with” type of person. Since we’re very close madalas kaming natutukso ng mga kaklase namin bilang couple. Pero ‘di ko ‘yun binigyan ng malisya since I only see him as a friend that time. One day I reacted a heart emoji to a picture that he posted on Facebook and I got a reply from him saying na “Crush mo talaga ‘ko eh”, sinakyan ko ang trip niya and I replied back saying “Oo na, aamin na ‘ko crush talaga kita” and this is where everything started.

  According to him, crush niya na daw talaga ako since first week of class pa dahil nagagandahan daw siya sa’kin. We’ve chatted every time at nagsimula na din mahulog ang loob ko sa kanya. Nagsimula akong mailang sa kanya dahilan ng pag-iwas ko tuwing nagkikita kami sa room pero sabi niya ayos lang sa kanya dahil naiintindihan niya daw ako. He is a very nice person, hindi siya mahirap magustuhan kaya as days went by ay nahulog na din ang loob ko sa kanya. October 2018, it was our semestral break when he courted me but suddenly ghosted on me. Nanibago ‘ko bigla dahil nasanay na ‘kong kausap siya araw-araw but in the end wala kong nagawa, hindi ko na siya kinulit at chinat pa. After semestral break nagkita ulit kami sa school and he explained his reason kung bakit ‘di siya nagpaparamdam, he said he became busy taking care of his sick lola but unfortunately, her lola died. I forgave him and we became friends, but he still said he likes me and still want to pursue me. Naging mailap na din ako sa kanya after reconciliation but my feelings do not fade.

  December 22, me and my classmates including him celebrated for finishing our major exam. I got drunk that day, hindi ako legal uminom kaya bawal akong umuwi ng lasing and the celebration is over kaya Phil brought me to his dorm to sober up. We’ve cuddled that day and we admitted our feelings for each other. We still want each other kaya the next day we decided to become an official couple. Naging kami for eight (8) months, sa loob ng months na ‘yun, puro kami away-bati dahil inaaway ko siya lagi. Pero kahit ganon ramdam na ramdam ko na mahal na mahal niya ‘ko at kaya niyang gawin lahat mapasaya lang ako. Hindi siya nagkulang sa pagpaparamdam sa’kin kung gaano niya ‘ko kamahal kahit napakakomplikado ko. Binago ko ang ugali ko, nilawakan ko ang pag-unawa sa kanya at ‘di ko na siya inaaway kaya naging masaya kami. Akala ko mag-uumpisa na ang masayang samahan namin dahil hindi na kami nag-aaway. Pero akala ko lang pala ‘yun. One day he messaged me telling na hindi niya na ‘ko mahal. One (1) month na daw siyang walang nararamdaman sa’kin pero ngayon niya lang sinabi dahil sinubukan naman daw niyang ibalik ‘yung nararamdaman niya. Kaso wala daw talaga, sobrang nasaktan ako dahil hindi ko lubos akalain na magkakaganon dahil alam kong mahal na mahal niya ‘ko. Pero wala na din akong nagawa lalo na nu’ng pinili niyang makipaghiwalay na sa’kin.

  Since we’re block mates, nagkikita pa din kami lagi sa school kaya hindi naging mahirap sa’kin na kausapin siya after class. Nagkausap kami at inamin niya sa’kin na hindi totoong hindi niya na ‘ko mahal kaya siya nakipaghiwalay. Ang totoo daw ay may malaking kasalanan siya sa’kin. That was the night na nagpaalam daw siya sa’kin na matutulog siya ng maaga but the truth is nakipag-inuman siya sa highschool classmates niya. And he got very drunk and paggising niya nakahubad na daw siya. He told me na parang nag-orgy sila ng mga kasama niya at hindi siya sigurado kung may nagalaw daw siya and worst hindi niya alam kung safe ba ‘yung mga babae na kasama nila. Hindi niya daw maalala ang nangyari sa sobrang kalasingan niya, sobra daw niyang pinagsisihan ang mga nangyari. And kahit mahal na mahal niya ‘ko kailangan niya ‘kong i-let go because I deserve more and it’s the only way for him to be sure na safe ako at hindi na masasaktan pa. Masakit para sa’kin ‘yung mga nalaman ko. But I still love him despite of everything. I forgave him for what he did because I know he didn’t intentionally did it. I said I want him back pero he refused because gusto niya daw munang ayusin ang sarili niya. I’m losing hope because I feel like he doesn’t have plans to fix our relationship. He wants me to find someone better but I don’t what to. :( I’m really confused, DJ Chloe. :(

  What do you think is the right thing to do? Should I move on or wait for him to come back to me even though walang kasiguraduhan na babalikan niya ako? Sana po ay matulungan niyo ‘ko. Thank you for hearing me po.

  Hi Dear,

  We’re not even sure if he is really telling the truth here. You know if a man wants out, he’ll probably just say anything or invent any reasons just to be out. But to give him the benefit of the doubt… maybe he is telling the truth.

  I know you love him. Pero kailangan  pa ba kita i-remind kung gaano na kataas ang cases ng HIV sa Pilipinas?

  I’m sorry, but that’s the only thing that I can tell you. Now if you love yourself enough, you’ll let it go.

  You love him now but just as you’ve learned to love him you can also learn to unlove him.

  Kung totoo nga ang nagawa niya, eh tama lang na iwasan ka niya dahil baka mamaya mahawa ka pa nuyan ng kung ano. When you have STD, masasabi mo pa kayang mahal mo ‘yan? Cervical cancer kills, you know and most of the time it comes from STD.

  

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