Chloe’s Inbox – Your wrong relationships will lead you to the wrong one

November 4, 2019

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  Dear DJ Chloe,

  Just call me Angel. I just wanna share my story. I hope you can read this even if it’s very long. I had a block mate way back when I was in college. We met in college in 2017. I was his block mate in one of my subjects. During that time, I had no interest of mingling with anybody in class since my only purpose is to attend the subject. Then he came to me and introduced himself. He offered a handshake and asked for my name. The reason why he approached me is that he was looking for a potential speaker whom we can invite for our event. Then I suggested a professor my friend knows. He thanked me after that. When I got home, I noticed a friend request from a guy I don’t know but since we have mutual friends, I accepted it. Then that started the exchange of messages between us. I had no idea that he was the same guy I was speaking with in class. We were similar in so many ways. We both love music. We complement each other in such a way that he is good in playing guitar while I love singing. We had the happiest bonding that others thought there was something between us although I am not the type of person who assumes. During our business plan implementation, one of his friends asked if he was courting me, and I denied it although I already have feelings for him because he wasn’t confessing anything. I just maintain simplicity and avoid being showy of affection towards him. Then one day, since we had same professor in our law subject, he did not attend his class, instead, he attended mine. That time, he asked if one of his friends told me something about him. I said, “Oo ang sabi niya sa akin, nanliligaw ka daw, totoo ba ‘yun?” Then he stopped and became silent for a while. Binibiro ko na nga siya na binibilangan ko ng 1,2,3. Then he said, “Oo nanliligaw ako”. That moment I felt like flying. ‘Yun ‘yung pinaka nakakakilig at pinakamasayang nafeel ko since nag-aral ako dun. But I said na, I’ll just accomplish everything, like my goals then after that if tayo talaga then tayo. “If makakapaghintay ka at ikaw ‘yung nandiyan at the end, then sige.” He then agreed to that. So fast forward, for two years lagi kaming magkasama. He always says words like, “You were my first as well as my last”, “I’m willing to wait kahit gasano katagal”, “Ikaw lang ang gusto kong makasama hanggang pagtanda. He was even planning the names of our future kids na if babae, isasabay niya sa pangalan ko and if lalake sa kanya. Imagining our life together in the future na kahit simple lang basta masaya kami. In the middle of those two years of special friendship/ligaw stage niya, he was the only guy I considered because deep inside, I love him very much. But instead of saying it, I just expressed it sa actions ko. I marked his words of patiently waiting for me. Moving forward, last three months ago, we had an argument regarding perspective of things that don’t match. I am the type that when someone told me something, I mark it in my memory. Sadly, madalas ‘di siya ganun. He often says things na ‘di natutupad like simple meet ups and complying sa time na siya ang nagset. This lead to our argument that soon lead to not talking with each other for almost three months. Then this October lang I chatted him and his response was like a response of a single guy saying, “Yeah, may dadating din naman para satin,” not knowing na matagal na pala siyang may girlfriend and naging sila nu’ng September. It hit me a lot, DJ. He also said na he is happier with his one month relationship compared sa two years na nakasama niya ako. It hurts hearing these words po. I did everything, became a good best friend to him, became sincere in everything I do. Although sabi niya, we can still remain friends daw. So I agreed na naman since his girlfriend knows naman daw na nag-uusap kami. I expressed regret and feeling like why didn’t he wait for me. He said na he still loves me but he already have his girlfriend which he also loves. He also said that if talking about his happiness, he is happier now compared before. But with the love he invested, he invested more daw sa’kin. Yesterday, I chatted him again and told him na I’m setting him free na. Na pwede na niya ako i-block. Gaya ng gusto ng girlfriend niya. They had an agreement before kasi na pag maging sila, the girl should still allow him to chat me because he said I am a very special person to him. He even told her our story like our bonding and relationships as special friends. I told him kasi that even though I agreed being friends with him pa rin, there’a still love na nafi-feel ko sa kanya, which is very strong. Because when I love, I love hard. But since meron na siya, what matters na lang sakin is ‘yung kung saan siya masaya. And because he told me na dun siya mas masaya so I let go of him na. I told him na he can block me na like what his girlfriend wants although ayaw niya sana ako i-block. Ask ko lang po DJ, did I make the right decision?

  Hi Angel,

  Why not block him instead? Or maybe not because it’s too childish. You can unfollow naman eh, ‘di ba? I think you did the right thing. The love you feel for him will not go away at once and I believe he will remain to have that special or soft spot in your heart. But you had two years together and he is now with another. It is but right to respect that. Allow his new girl to have a relationship with him without your shadows. It could have been a beautiful love story for both of you, but well he chose to end it. So it’s not your loss. If this guy is for you, time, luck, and chance will find its way to bring him back to you. Finish law school, pass the bar. You have a bright future ahead of you. For now, end everything with him, literally.

  

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