Chloe’s Inbox – When you choose money over love

November 27, 2019

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  Dear DJ Chloe,

  I’m in need of your advice. I met a guy and he’s just the nicest guy (patient, kind, caring, understanding, etc.) and I really love him so much. We’ve been dating for more than 10 months and things have been going well. However, my family doesn’t actually know about it since I met him through a dating site. They wouldn’t be too open about that. Moreover, his financial status is a bigger problem when it comes to being introduced to my family. I’m in the middle class and I’m pretty satisfied, but he’s in the lower middle class. He’s the breadwinner of his family—paying for bills, rent, his sibling’s tuition, medication, and other needs. I don’t think my family would approve of that since they’ve emphasized that I should be with a guy who can support me financially. What do I do? I don’t want to be secretive and “illegal” about my relationship with him, but I don’t want my family to look down on us. I wish everyone could just get along.

  Tala, from the Skies

  Dear Tala,

  I don’t think there’s something wrong with loving or being with someone who doesn’t have much for as long as the person is not lazy and is working and is able to work. Habang buhay naman may pag-asa eh, ‘di ba? Why, are you marrying this guy? Hindi pa naman yata, ‘di ba? So get to know him, kung maging kayo or maging boyfriend mo siya then you’ll know if he is worth fighting for. It’s the two of you naman who will work for your relationship and will provide for both of your needs. While it’s good to be provided, Sino ba ang ayaw na sa bahay na lang at magbake-bake, luto-luto na hindi nauubusan ng pang grocery dahil mayaman ang asawa? Eh medyo hindi na uso ‘yan ngayon eh. It has to be both of you working for the marriage, to provide and to nourish the marriage. Of course, parents want the best for us, but it is still us responsible for the best of what we can give ourselves. Sabi ng tatay ko, sa lahat daw ng pag-iisip, ang pinakapalyado ay ang mag-isip ng makapagasawa ng mayaman. Men are not financial plans.

  

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