Cheating is the Exception

December 11, 2015

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

  I’ve been an avid listener of your show ever since it started. I wrote to you few months back and luckily got my letter read on air. I found that my significant other was cheating on me for two years, so ngayon hiwalay na kami. When I found it out, I talked to the girl and made my decision to walk away from misery, kahit sobrang mahal ko pa siya. I was really devastated, we’ve been together for 13 years na kasi and meron kaming eight-year old kid. I was moving on na din and then nu’ng nalaman ng ex ko na I was dating again, he begged to come back. Aaminin ko mahal ko pa at I was so stupid to give him another chance, parang wala ka na bang magawa, mahal mo eh.

  I was under the impression na magbabago siya to win me back, tapos ang daming series na nalaman ko na sila pa din pala. So to make the long story short, sila pa din. But, last night, the other girl sent me a message on Facebook saying na I was right, na hindi na marunong makuntento ang ex ko kasi they broke up because of another girl. Could it be na nagfi-fish lang ng information ‘tong si babae? Or ‘yung other woman na sinasabi niya, ako? Or could be totoo? I should not care about it, kasi hindi pa naman talaga kami nagkakabalikan pero we made an agreement to fix our family. Should I take him back? Ipa-realize na ako talaga to begin with? Ang hirap. Please, enlighten me. Should I tell him na minessage ako and talk to him?  Thanks, DJ Chloe. Looking forward for an insight. More power to your show.

  Julie

   

  Hi Julie,

  Men don’t change. They just grow old. Hahaha.

  ‘Wag mong pang hinayangan ang eight-year marriage mo dahil hindi ‘yun pinanghinayangan ng asawa mo when he cheated on you.

  I believe in second chances, you know. But only to those who deserve them. What’s hard with giving another chance is the offender knows he can get away with it dahil alam niyang kaya ka n’yang aregluhin; he will cheat again.

  You’ve been hurt and you need to heal and taking him back is giving him another chance to hurt you. He will just add salt to your wound.

  It’s okay to have a family. A husband, a child, you…but oftentimes it’s better to just be alone raising a child, than be repeatedly cheated on.

  Don’t mind the other girl. Don’t stoop down to her level, you don’t have any business with her. If he made a deal with you to fix your family then let him do it first. And having the other girl bothering you is a clear sign he is still having a thing with her.

  There are 2 fears most victims of infidelity usually face if they decide to take a cheating spouse or significant other back. 1) The fear that the affair is still going on behind your back; and 2) The fear that the cheater will cheat on you again. Think about it a million times before plunging back into hell again.

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

   

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