He Doesn’t Love You, He Needs You

March 1, 2016

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

  Sobrang avid fan mo ako for the longest time and I’m praying na mapansin mo sana ang message ko.

  A month ago, I decided na i-cut na ang communication ko with my boyfriend for four years. Kasi alam ko naman sa sarili ko na hindi pure ang love niya sa’kin and ginagamit lang niya ako because of my money and my position sa company. Yes, for four years umasa ako na magbabago siya despite of giving and doing all the favors. Last text niya sa’kin is nangamusta po and asking kung matutulungan ko pa ba siya sa problem niya financially. I didn’t reply na DJ Chloe kasi parang naawa na ‘ko sa sarili ko na maalala lang ba ako kapag may kailangan? After that I haven’t heard from him. Dumaan ang Valentine’s Day and of course expecting na baka kahit pano maalala niya ko. Pero wala po. I kept myself busy and try to forget the pain kahit na everyday nadaanan ko ang bahay niya kasi wala namang ibang way palabas. Talagang bumabalik lahat ng memories, DJ Chloe. And after three weeks bigla ko na lang po naisip na itext siya. Nakonsensya lang ako sa pag-iignore sa text niya and I did apologize. Pero hindi rin siya nagreply sa akin. Ang sakit pala, DJ Chloe. I don’t know where this pain is coming from. Dahil ba sa feeling ko ginantihan niya ko o ‘yung feeling na wala na talaga siyang pakialam sa’kin. Sana pala pinanindigan ko na lang ‘yung hindi pagpansin. Ilang araw na rin akong nagkukulong sa room. I also filed a vacation leave kasi ‘di ako makaconcentrate sa work. Iniisip ko na lang po na para rin sa ikakabuti ng buhay ko ang pag-iwas. Pero ang hirap-hirap pala, I don’t know where to start, DJ Chloe. Mali ba ako sa una kong ginawa? Sana mabigyan niyo ‘ko ng konting advice, please.

  Cindy

  Dear Cindy,
  The pain that you’re feeling is actually coming from the validation that you got from him. And what is that, that he is only there when he needs you. Especially when it comes to finances.
  Imagine, for the many times you have helped him, what is that one time you have failed him?
  It really is painful to know, to validate that what we already know of is really true.

  I always say this, and I’ll say it again to you, if it doesn’t feel right, then you know somewhere, something is wrong.

  Please read the quote on top, it says everything about your situation. The faster you can accept it, the better for you. Daanan mo na ‘yang phase ng buhay mong ‘yan. It’s okay kung ginamit ka, nagpagamit ka naman kasi, lesson learned. Now brush yourself off, wipe the tears, go to the nearest salon and have a make-over. You deserve it, you just got rid of a pest. :)

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

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