Wasting Your Time To An Irresponsible Man

March 17, 2016

• 

  Hi, I need your expert advice.

  I am Cynthia and I am in a very young relationship. Me and my boyfriend are together for 11 months now. We see each other almost every day. Ever since I entered this relationship I am aware that he does not work for almost three years now. He stays at his parent’ house and has ten year old daughter. Basically, his parents provides his and his child’s daily need. I embraced his situation. At first he pays his share whenever we go out on dates. One time, after our dinner what was left in his wallet was only 150 pesos. I thought of giving him P500 that time.

  As days and weeks passed by, whenever I always initiate paying dinner since he’s not working. Sometimes he would ask for cell phone load, which I gladly gave. Sometimes, whenever his allergies spring up, I would give him money, mostly P500. The scenario of giving money started on our second month, until now I still do it. Sometimes when I refuse to give him, he distance himself from me nor give me cold shoulders for days or sinusingitan niya ako. Whenever I go to his house, I go there secretly. I haven’t met his parents yet. Kaya darating ako doon around 11pm when his family are asleep. He cooks for me naman. But that happened every time I give him money. My question is tama ba na magbigay ng pera sa boyfriend? Should I leave him because no matter how I push him to work, I even submitted his CV to so many companies, he is not positive about having it.

  Hi, Cynthia!

  Fast forward, five years with him, ikaw ang breadwinner. And you have kids of your own plus his daughter, is the setup okay with you? Let’s say he still doesn’t work even after being with you, raising a family with you already. Is it okay with you? Kunyari after all your support, love, understanding, encouragement, prodding, he stays the same. Because there’s no guarantee that people will change and it’s impossible to change a person, will you still stay? Feel the same for him?

  And you answered  “NO” in our chat conversation, right? So here’s my expert advise…

  Why prolong? I tell you, he won’t change. Naugatan na ‘yan, sinanay pa ng magulang, this early binibigyan mo na ng pera? Que horror, no balls. Soon you will hate yourself for always being the one footing the bill.

  All for what? Good sex? Is it even good? Love, yes. But love flies out of the window when the stomach is empty. An old adage but remains to be always timely.

  Well, I can tell you otherwise. Encourage him, love him, support. Sus, hindi nga napagbago ng magulang, ikaw pa? A man who truly loves you will prove to be worthy of you kahit walang pera pag sisilbihan ka ng walang kapalit, papaalipin, ‘di ka pagdadabugan dahil ‘di mo nabigyan. At hello!! Mahihiyang manghingi!

  My god siya, ate! Drop him! Mauubos savings mo d’yan. Come to think of it. He’s got a kid and yet he is still asa sa parents niya. So what makes you think your love for him will change him? There is no guarantee.

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

• COMMENTS