Your Life Can Sometimes Be Changed By A Reunion

May 25, 2016

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  Hope you are doing great! Been working all day. So as a stress reliever magbabasa na naman ako ng segment mo. I am so thankful sa page mo kase I run into this segment kapag oras na ng pahinga. Nakaka inspire at nakaktuwa magbasa ng maraming stories and advices. After a tiring day, merong matatakbuhan na makakapulutan ng aral sa buhay.

  I am Bella, 32 years old. I don’t know if it’s an advice that I am needing pero I can say it’s more of a confession. Pero shempre kailangan mo ‘ko bigyan ng advice.

  I have a 6-year-old kid, not married but I am living with my not so lovable partner. Met this guy wayback 2006. The usual forever na inaakala nating lahat, ganun kami. Not until nakasma ko siya sa isang bubong at ngkaalalaman ng totoong ugali. So ganun nga, to cut the story short, hindi nagtagal awayan at bangayan lang kami and it went to the point na ngkakasakitan na physically and emotionally. He never had any job mula ng mgka anak kami. We stayed with my parents kung saan binigyan kami ng sarling business at ako naman homebased freelancer at the same time full-time mom. Matatag ako kung sa matatag, hinayaan ko ‘yun mangyari sa kagustuhan kong maging okay ang lahat at para narin sa bata.

  On 2011, nagkaroon kami ng high school reunion. Nagkita kami ng crush ko noon. His name is James. Actually until college crush ko siya at sinubuksubukan kong hanapin sa Friendster. Naging friends kami noon sa Friendster pero dahil nasa province siya hindi siya ganoon ka-active sa social media.

  So on 2011, since medyo active na siya sa social media nagkaroon kami ng constant communication. Patago sa part ko kasi may partner ako pero siya single. I am sure na single siya kasi nakakusap ko over the phone ang relatives niya and they were really nice to me and open sa pagiging single ni James. Nagulat nga sila at nag-iba ang ugali niya at naging masayahin after lumuwas dito sa Manila for the reunion. Reunion ang first and last na pagkikita namin at hindi na naulit. Days and months have passed, constant ang communication namin. Alam niya ang nangyayari sa relationship ko, open ako sa kanya sa mga nangyari sa buhay ko. One time, we were talking and sabay kami nakaisip na bakit ganun p, besides sa connection ng phone, there is another connection within ourselves na masaya kami. Yes, masaya kami kahit hindi nagkikita at parang ang tagal-tagal na namin magkasama pero hindi naman. Nasabi na rin namin na baka nga soul mates kami.

  Nga pala, ikaklaro ko lang. Hindi naging kami. MU siguro pero aminan ng feelings, wala. Hanggang sa isang araw na lang bigla na siyang hindi kumontak sakin. Nagtaka ako, hindi ko alam kung may nagawa ba kong mali. Pero mukang wala naman. Naglie low siya. After 3 months he reached me again, he told me na nakabuntis siya ng hindi niya sinasadya. Take note, “hindi sinasadya” ang labo ‘di ba, hehe. Pero since wala nga kaming naging relationship so wala akong dapat maging reaction kundi “congrats.” Buti naman nahanap na niya ang swerte niya. So syempre, nagulat ako and inaamin ko, may kurot sa puso ko ng very light. So since ganun na nga na he has responsibilities, I said to him na I was onced into him kaso wala akong guts para aminin kasi it wasn’t the right time. He told me na bakit ngayon ko lang sinasabi at bakit hindi ako naniwala sa sinabi niya noon na “mahal na niya ‘ko”, which is all I know is isang malaking joke niya.

  Nga pala, sa lahat ng convo namin he jokes a lot and we laugh a lot. No dull moments kapag magkausap kami.

  Hanggang naputol na ng tuluyan ang communication namin. Nagbilang ng araw, buwan at taon. Then one time lumuwas siya sa Manila and tried to contact me. Pero ‘di ko na inentertain. I was hurt, I was damn hurt. Lagi siyang nawawala tapos bumabalik sa alanganing pagkakataon. Nabalitaan ko na lang kinasal na siya. Noon nga palang nalaman ng wife niya na nagtry si James kontakin ako, lumuwas siya. She texted me and said ‘wag na ‘wag ko daw kontakin ang asawa niya, which I really did. Ayoko ng gulo at hindi ko gagawing ipahiya ang sarili ko. Pero, DJ Chloe, I still love him until this very moment. Masaya ko na may pamilya na siya pero deep inside me nasasaktan pa rin ako at nararamdaman ko pa rin ‘yung connection namin. Year 2000, crush ko na siya. Nahanap ko siya after 11 years kaso wrong timing, 2016 na but I still got the same old feeling. Mali ba na umasa ‘ko na soul mates kami at tama ba na hindi ko sinunod yung puso ko at maglakas loob na mahalin nalang siya?

  Hi Bella!

  If you’re married, the moral side of me will tell you that it’s wrong. Your affection should only be for your husband alone and no one else. But then again, syempre medyo alanganin pa rin kasi may partner ka na at magkasama kayo at may anak kayo. Hindi ko matawag na “the one that got away” kasi never naging kayo. Nothing was made official sa inyo. You had the chance again to be in touch with him but your circumstances won’t allow you to have something to do with him. Sana hinananap mo na lang siya noon or inaantay siya or whatever at hindi ka nagcommit sa iba dahil siya pala ang gusto mo. Ngayon may asawa na siya, ke nakabuntis, or sadya niyang binuntis and the girl asked a favor from you to back off. Then stay away and never make an attempt anymore. Parehas naman kayo sablay eh. Hindi niyo nakuhang magsabi ng totoo sa bawat isa, oh eh di magtiis kayo na may kasamang ibang tao instead na kayo.

  You can love him still, why not? But love him from afar. And don’t do anything with that feelings or love of yours for him. Or you can choose to just forget about this or him and move on and look forward to a brighter future neither alone but with a child or with your partner. Life is always a choice, my dear.

  

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