Relationship Requires Honesty

August 11, 2016

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  Dear DJ Chloe,

  This time po need ko na talaga ang advices ninyo. Older po sa akin ang boyfriend ko. 43 siya while I’m 29. Ang problema po ay napaka active niya sa sex. Wala naman po issue sa akin ‘yun pero ‘di lang ako kasing gana niya sa topic. May mga bagay na gusto siya na medyo awkward sa akin at nagiging dahilan ng tampuhan namin. Hindi sa ayaw ko sa ganito or ganyan pero naninibago lang ako kasi inexperienced ako unlike him na older sa’kin. Ayaw ko naman i-point out ‘yung age difference namin kaya ganun at baka mainis siya sa age topic. Nasabi ko na din sa kanya na my hormonal imbalance ako at reason ‘yun kaya mbaba ang sex drive ko na ginagamot ko naman para bumalik ako sa dati. Sabi niya okay lang daw at mag-aadjust siya sa akin. Pero actually ayaw ko ng ganun siya dahil baka maghanap siya ng iba kahit pa sabihin niya na mahal na mahal niya ako at ‘di lang sex ang reason bakit mahal niya ako. Nagwo-worry po ako na mag-iba siya ng isip sa akin dahil lang sa ‘di ko siya msabayan sa adult topic namin. Aminado naman ako na may pagkachildish ako at mahilig ako magpabebe kaya minsan nababadtrip siya sa’kin lalo at pagod siya sa work. Ano po kaya ang mapapayo niyo sa akin at times like these. Wala po ako mahingan ng advice lalo na at I grew up on a very conservative and old fashioned family. Thank you po! Sana po matulungan niyo ako dito.

  Ms. Conservative

  Dear Ms. Conservative,

  Are you, guys, planning to get married? I don’t want sound sanctimonious or pretentious. But girl, make sure this guy is taking you to the altar, at least! Seriously, you can ask me about motherhood, about relationships, but one thing don’t ask me about bed issues. Not that I don’t know anything about it. I’m in fact very good in bed! I just lay down and close my eyes and sleep! Hahahhahaha!

  Seriously, most men do not know that before a girl can be really intimate with you. She should be invested in you. There’s love, real love. And there’s intellectual intercourse (to me that’s important), at least. Men are visual. Women, women are complicated creatures. There are a lot of things in the head and there’s a lot of things going on with the hormones. Men, I believe even at 89, will still try to put into action their sexual imaginations and drives. Women especially when hitting menopausal would rather sleep. :)

  Anyways, while sex is not the main component of a good “marriage” it is a vital factor. It’s important that you guys jive. And it starts with “open communication”. Tell him upfront what works for you and what doesn’t work for you. Do not force yourself if you don’t want to. Men, if you want to get their attention, talk or text about something sexy. Ang bilis ng reply niyan. I don’t know why but that’s the real deal about them. :)

  I can go on and on but I don’t want to. Only, if you guys are “married”.

  

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