Chase Whatever Your Heart Tells You

September 21, 2016

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  Dear DJ Chloe,

  Just call me Josh. I have something to share. Let me begin you with this words: “sabi ko sa sarili ko, ayoko na ulit ma-attach, gusto ko na lang maging masaya para sa sarili ko. More travel, enjoy life and let people come and go into my life”.

  I though DJ Chloe that I can still hold on to these words after I met Marie. Classmate ko siya sa isang subject namin sa isang university sa Manila. June 2016 when I first met her. Actually, wala nga lang talaga. I only asked who’s our professor and she’s the one who answered my query since I’m an irregular student. To make the story short, nagkakausap na kami. Pero alam mo ‘yun DJ Chloe, just the normal conversation, no attachments. Nasi-seen ko pa nga siya minsan. And wala din akong pakialam kung i-seen niya ako. Until the 1st week of August came. She messaged me, asking if we can go out at samahan ko sya sa isang spoken poetry event. Me being always alone sa lahat ng mga trips, naexcite din. So sumama ako sa kanya. Wala lang talaga. At that time gusto ko lang din ng kasama at nagkakapareho lang ‘yung trip namin. Until nasundan na. Siya mag-iinvite, minsan ako. Na almost four times a week na kaming magkasama, sabay umuuwi from school. We even made Easy Rock our sound trip kapag may mga trips kami. Until came August 28, after naming magfoodtrip sa isang mall sa Quezon City and ihatid siya, I received a text message from her. She said, “thank you sa paghatid, sorry at pinag-alala kita. Bawasan na natin ‘yung pag-uusap, pagkikita, iwanan mo na ako, intindihin mo na lang ako”. For a week, lagi akong pumupunta sa waiting place namin, waiting for a chance na baka maayos namin, baka makausap ko siya. Pero wala. ‘Di siya pumupunta.

  That lasted for a week for us, without having conversations to each other and she even said “kailangan ko na ring lumayo kasi may boyfriend na ako.” Pero naayos kami. I gave her this box full of treats with pick up lines and knock-knock and sweet messages in it. September 4 (Sunday), kinausap niya na ulit ako. We had a great time going to Harbour Square, just the two of us. That time I was so thankful that I almost had a chance to be in that scenario na sunset and talking with each other. And then the flow again, we went out Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday. And this Monday, she invited me to go out, I did. While on the jeep, nakita ko cellphone niya, nandun ‘yung name nu’ng guy na pinagseselosan ko. Nagseselos ako. Tumahimik ako, ‘di ako umiimik all-throughout the trip. And nagkaroon ng confrontation. Napagtaasan ko siya ng boses na sounds like (parang nasaktan ko talaga siya), she just decided to go home. And until today, she blocked me on Facebook and said na tapos na kami. Wala na and ‘wag ko na siyang i-text, i-message, or i-chat.

  DJ Chloe, clear na ‘yung signs if I should go on fight for it or not. But I’m still torn between the points na “kung mahal mo gagawa ka ng paraan para ‘di siya tuluyang mawala sa’yo” at sa “tama na. Wala na. Tapos na kayo. Learn to love yourself na lang, Josh. You even lost your job (I’m a working student po kasi).” Walang kami, DJ Chloe and I’m not sure if she feels na may feelings na ako for her. Walang kami pero nasasaktan ako, DJ Chloe. Malinaw na sa akin ‘yung steps na dapat kong gawin and it gives me to the direction of moving forward and go on with my life without her. Pero ayoko DJ Chloe. Gusto ko paring gumawa ng way to save her. Birthday niya na this Friday, I think ‘di na namin magagawa ‘yung surprise na naprepare ko sa kanya for Tagaytay City. Thank you DJ Chloe and I’m so sorry for this long message.

  Josh

  Ang dali mo namang sumuko, Josh. Eto na to eh. Literally, you know for a fact na nanunulot ka. Some people will say respect and that’s correct. We should respect relationships. Pero boyfriend pa lang naman eh. ‘Di pa naman kasal. ‘Di pa naman asawa.

  Magiging kunsintidor ako sa araw na ito. So please, allow me. I always believe that you have to fight for someone you love. She gave you naman all the motives eh. She led you on. So maybe she’s not happy with her boyfriend. Why not a take a chance? Ask her to choose. Para malaman mo sino pipiliin niya. Ikaw o si boyfriend.

  Now, on your part make sure that if she chooses you eh ‘di nya ito pagsisisihan ng bonggang bongga. :)

  I always believe that if you love two persons, go for the second one. You won’t be side tracked if you really love the one you’re with. So if I were you, if you really are into this girl and if you don’t want to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have happened if you have done things to win her, then do what you must do. In life, you will only regret the chances you didn’t take! And the opportunities that you missed.

  

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