A Piece of Your Mind

October 1, 2015

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

  My mother just died. Before her death she had a care giver with a live-in partner and two kids from two different men. Aside from that before she got separated from her husband she had relationships with other men. On my mom’s 40 days I had this feeling towards her and my dad. She even slept at my parents’ room because she told me that she’s afraid. Since my mom’s already dead I had her as my maid and brought her here in Manila. I noticed that she’s updated with my father’s whereabouts. I didn’t know that she’s always on the phone with my dad. Recently, my dad even visited her  here in Manila. I know something’s going on between them. I can see it in their body language. I am so annoyed. I even asked my dad about it but he keeps on denying. But eventually, I confirmed their relationship through our neighbor. The girl’s even spreading the new in our neighborhood. I am so embarrassed because it’s not yet 6 months since my mom died and my father’s already flirting. It’s fine if the girl’s single but she’s widowed and just my age. What’s worse is her live in partner knew it. What should I do?

  Ms. K

  Dear Ms. K,
  
  Heartbreaking, right? And I know how you feel. You just can’t believe that your father can just easily forget your mom.
  Much as we would like to understand that he’s only human, it’s really hard.

  Your only consolation if I may call it that way is that your dad started “flirting” na wala na ang nanay mo. Although wala pang 6 months. But honestly, there are husbands who can’t help doing it while their wives are on a death bed. ‘Di man lang antayin na lang na mawala muna bago gumawa ng kamunduhan sa iba. It really happens. Probably, one percent na lang ang natitira who would remain faithful to their spouses at talagang dadamayan ang asawa in sickness and in health.

  I don’t know what advice to give you really. Except to let your father know that you are very much aware of what’s going on. You can also let the other girl know what you know and you don’t have to even apologize for giving them a piece of your mind and for feeling bad about it.

  You can also choose to just let her go and find another house help. Unless you’re okay with the idea that she will be your future “step mom”. Good luck.

  -Chloe

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