Breaking Up with Stress

November 23, 2015

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  Hi DJ Chloe ,
  Sana mapansin mo ang message ko. I’m in a state of depression now and underwent psychiatric therapy. I am 10 years married with two kids (twin daughters). My husband is a good provider, wala po akong masabi sa sobrang bait niya and understanding sa lahat. Until I met this man four years ago, he’s the owner of my twins’ school.

  I was a banker that time and so I was helping him for some banking transaction, particularly loans.

  In short, nagkaro’n kami ng relasyon, until this year. I can say na he is a womanizer kasi walo ang anak niya sa apat na magkakaibang babae, gano’n siya katindi.

  On and off ang relasyon namin kasi may mga demands ako na hindi niya mabigay. Gusto ko lagi niya ‘ko ite-text, madalas kami magkikita, etc. pero hindi po siya gano’n. Dumadaan ang isa o dalawang buwan na ‘di kami nagkikita. Ang text niya sa’kin mabibilang mo lang sa mga daliri. Tiniis ko po ‘yun ng ilang taon because I’m hoping na baka magbago siya.

  Minsan naalala lang niya kong itext kapag magfa-follow up ng loan. Makikipag kita siya kapag may isa-submit na documents. So I felt na parang ginagamit niya lang ako. I love him so much na halos makalimutan ko na na may asawa ako. Lahat binigay ko sa lalaking ito–oras, atensyon, pera. In fact, he owes me seven digits already, which I am hoping that he can still pay back.

  Kaso parang hindi sapat para sa atensyon na gusto ko. Sinasabi po niya na mahal niya ‘ko pero hindi ko naman maramdaman. Namimiss daw niya ‘ko pero bihira naman niya ko kitain. Kahit tawag sa cellphone wala rin. Sinusubukan ko po na kalimutan na lang siya kasi ‘di po talaga worth it lahat ng effort ko. Kaso ‘di ko po alam kung pa’no magsimula. ‘Di ko po mapigilan ang sarili ko every time na magte-text siya. Pagod na po ang isip ko pero nilalabanan ng love ko sa kanya.

  Alam ko po na hindi siya seryoso sa’kin pero bakit parang ‘di ko matanggap? Kailangan ko na po ba magpalit ng number or just simply ignore him? Pa’no po ba mag move on? Hirap na hirap na po ako na parang ayoko na gumising sa umaga kasi ang lungkot-lungkot po. Pero pag nagkaayos naman kami parang wala rin kasi. ‘Di naman niya ‘ko naalala madalas. One-sided love, ika nga.

  Now he’s asking me a favor again na kapag napa-approve ko daw ‘yung loan niya sa bank he will pay me and give me all the attention I want. ‘Yun po ang pangako niya. Kaya daw po siya walang time sa’kin kasi sobrang dami ng problem niya. ‘Yung mga debts niya, various cases, so it can only be solved kapag nakapag pa-approve kami ng loan. Matatanggal daw po ang stress niya and magkakaroon na siya ng time sa’kin and if ever I don’t help him out he is also threatening that he will let my husband know about us.

  Sana po mapayuhan niyo ‘ko, please.

  Dana

   

  Dana,
  It’s crystal clear, as clear as mineral and purified water, that this man is just after what you can give him and that’s MONEY.

  In a pure and honest relationship, where there is real love, money should never be an issue. There will also be no emotional black mailing and mostly there will be no STRESS. Do you think it’s love that you both have? NO. Gamitan ang meron kayo.

  Ginagamit ka niya sa financial needs niya and sexual needs niya lalo na if hindi available ang “iba”. He is a womanizer, right?

  On your part, ginagamit mo siya to feed your fantasies. Helping him and giving him what he needs from you makes you feel needed and wanted. It makes you feel like you’re the only woman who has given him everything. That’s why you deserve and you’re asking for his full attention and “love”.

  MISIS, WALA KANG KARAPATAN. Kahit mamroblema ng ganito, wala kang karapatan dahil MAY ASAWA KA! Por dyos, por santo! A lot of women are married to pigs and would kill to have a husband who they can say is “a good provider”. Kahit hindi na guwapo, kahit hindi na mayaman basta may diskarte at kayang bumuhay ng pamilya. Sa dami ng lalaking PAL ngayon masuwerte ka na nakakuha ka ng MATINO!

  You are married to someone who seems to be “the best husband” since he is a good provider at wala ka namang reklamo sa kanya bilang asawa mo. ANONG PROBLEMA MO? Anong turnilyo ang nakalas sa ulo mo? Your husband doesn’t deserve you at all.

  Masokista ka ba? You know, I am trying not to be hard on you but it seems no amount of break-it-to-me-gently will be effective on you! Kailangan sa’yo isang malakas na hampas!

  7 digits ang utang sa’yo and now asking for money again? ‘Yan ba ang katumbas mo lagi? PERA? What if wala ka ng maibigay? Okay lang sana if hindi mauubos ang pera mo…haaaay! Ngayon may black mail pa? Isusumbong ka sa asawa? SAANG PART KA MAHAL NG MANGGAGAMIT NA ITO? Sobrang guwapo at galing ba nito?

  Look, you have kids. At least, think of them. Mas mahal mo ang lalaking ito kaysa sa mga anak mo? Anong nangyari na sa’yo?

  Walang madaling lusot sa gusot na ginawa mo. But I can only suggest three things:

  1. OUTWIT HIM. It’s up to you on how to do that so you can break free (but it seems you don’t want to, right?).

  2. OR LET YOUR HUSBAND KNOW ABOUT THIS. If you’ll choose between two evils, choose the lesser evil. Let your husband know bago maubos ang pera niyong mag-asawa ng kabit mo (sorry, ‘yun talaga ang term sa lalaking ‘yan) and be ready for the consequences.

  3. WALK AWAY AND PRAY THAT GOD INTERVENES TO SAVE YOUR FACE.

  Sakit sa bangs, promise.

   

   

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

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