DJ Chloe Said

December 3, 2015

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

   

  I am your avid fan because you’re really good in giving advises. And your advise really matters to me. I have a boy friend for one and a half years. Before our first year medyo struggle itong relationship namin. I am single with two kids at ‘di ito alam ng boy friend ko. Recently may nabasa siyang text from the father of my kids na ‘di magandang salita para sa’kin na pilit niyang inusisa kung bakit gan’on. Nu’ng sinabi ko na lahat sa kaniya akala ko maiintindihan niya ang sitwasyon ko kung bakit ko ito tinago. After this I felt his coldness at tipong civil na usapan na lang ang meron kami.

   

  After a week he texted me na gusto niya kaming mag-usap. He said na ayaw na niya; na magulo daw ang sitwasyon. Sinuyo ko siya kasi I want to save the relationship dahil mahal na mahal ko siya at ayoko na maggive up siya pero wala na talaga.

   

  Nahihirapan ako kasi halos parang mag-asawa na kami na magkasama, maraming bagay na nakasanayan at pati plano sa future. I feel na iniwan niya ako bigla sa ere. Inilabas niya ang sarili niya sa sitwasyon. Pati daw ‘yung mga ‘di magagandang salita na nasabi ay natamaan daw ang ego niya at ‘di lang din daw mga bata ang problema. Dati marami akong problema sa kaniya dahil sa mas mahalaga ang relasyon namin. Lahat ng iyon binalewala ko minsan. He sees me crying sa gabi sabi ko, “Wala, kaya ko pa.” Pero siya ngayon maliit na bagay na dapat ‘di na pinaguusapan, issue pa. Dinadagdag niya sa galit niya.

   

  Ang hirap na nasa isang circle of friends kami. Travel buddy ko din. Ngayon nakikita ko siya sa Facebook posting na nahihirapan siya, na sinisisi niya ako. Pero siya itong bumitaw at nag-iwan sa’kin. Isang kasinungalingan ang relasyon namin sabi niya. I believe na kung mahal na mahal ka talaga ng lalaki kahit na anong meron sa past mo kaya niya itong tanggapin at ‘di ka niya basta basta iiwan. Aminado naman ako na mali ko, na ‘di ko nasabi agad sa simula kasi nadaig ng pagmamahal. Natakot akong isipin na kaya niya kasi he’s younger than me. Ang sabi ko sa kaniya past na ‘yan wala ng magagawa. Andyan na ‘yan at magfocus na lang sa future. Lahat ng sinabi ko bale wala. Sarado ang isip niya at galit niya lang ang iniintindi niya. Please help me what to do. Ang sakit-sakit pa rin sa’kin. Maraming salamat.

   

  Rine

   

  Dear Rine,

   

  First, may I ask, where are the kids? Are they with you? Or with the father? I believe they are not with you. Because it’s impossible that he won’t see them from where you live, right? And as what you’ve said, deep na ang relationship niyo, parang mag-asawa.

   

  Anyways, if I try to put myself in your boy friend’s shoes, I would also be very mad at you. You fooled me into believing that we have is true and that I have you all for myself. Now I am confronted with the fact that you have two kids you kept from me. What does that make you? A big fat liar. I am so sorry for being blunt. But you know, if a man loves you, even if you have four kids, he will love you like hell if he is really into you. At bilib ako sa mga lalaking hindi tinitingnan ang nakaraan ng isang babae.

  But your case is different, you lied to him. You kept something from him and this something is not trivial! It’s something that will blow his brains out. One and a half years mo siyang pinaglihiman kahit ako mabubuang.

   

  Tama ka dito, “I believe na kung mahal na mahal ka talaga ng lalaki kahit na anong meron sa past mo kaya niya itong tanggapin at ‘di ka niya basta basta iiwan.” Yes, correct!!! BUT ONLY IF YOU HAVE BEEN TRUTHFUL TO HIM. What is the point in keeping things from him? If he can’t accept it then to hell with him!

   

  Since it’s there already and you can’t go back in time to undo things you’ve done, you still have a future to make things right. For now let him be. Because if he can’t figure out where you stand in his life better make a step back. Let him be. Allow him to be mad, to think, to find out for himself how much he loves you. Forgive him for being honest with what and how he feels.

  Time will reveal if he really loves you or not. If he loves you, he will come back and accept things as they are. If not then you know you’ll have to move on. Now while waiting for time to reveal things to you, work on yourself to be a better person. And know that even if you have kids but single you are still worth being loved. And no person deserves to be lied on.

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

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