One Realization

November 10, 2015

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  Dear Dj Chloe,

  I have always been a fan and avid listener not only of your show but your station. I make sure that I don’t miss out your show as I really love to hear your practical and straight to the point advise.

  I have been seeing a guy for 3 years already. Steady kami and I can truly say that he loves me. One thing though that bothers me is that it seems that he can’t forgive his ex for betraying him. Yes, DJ Chloe, he was once married. Now they are working on their annulment because the ex wife had an affair with one of his friends which he was able to find out and proved to be true. His fear actually is that hindi sa kanya ang isa sa apat na anak nila. I don’t want to delve in that issue because medyo mahabang k’wento. Do you think, when a man talks about his ex and how much he hates her, there is a possibility that he still can’t get over her? Or he can’t get over what she did to him? You know the pain and the shame of having shit on his head. What can I do, DJ Chloe to help him at least forget and eventually forgive?

  Tina

  Hi Tina,

  Being betrayed is not a joke. Being cheated on and lied to is never a joke and some people are never able to move on. I think it’s just right that he is able to talk about it openly with you because it’s hard if these things are bottled up. I think and I believe it’s only now that he is able to talk about it. Kasi up until now he can’t get over the pain and the shame of having a wife who puts shit on his head. Masakit naman talaga ‘yun, lalo’t may remembrance pa, a child whom he believes is not his. It is important, Tina, that you assure him that you love him and you won’t do such a thing to him. Mga ganyang tao may takot na ‘yan of being betrayed again kaya they’re usually paranoid. Love heals, love covers not only the pain but even the scars of old wounds. You said you know for a fact he loves you so make your love for each other so great that you’re able to heal, eventually, the pain and the shame. As for your question if he is still not over his ex, I don’t think he is not over the ex yet. What he can’t get over with is the betrayal. For as long as he is making things right with you like filing for an annulment then you shouldn’t be worried. And if he ever starts talking about the past and how much he hates the ex change the direction of your conversation. Once he notice that you’re not interested I am very sure he will stop talking about it.

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

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