Speak About Commitment

November 4, 2015

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  Hi Dj Chloe,

  I need some advice or perhaps I just need an outlet to release whatever bothers me. I have this officemate who is 4 years younger than me. I didn’t know that he likes me until he revealed it through text message when he got my number. He’s cute but he’s not my type because he’s too young and he doesn’t fit my standards. He was persistent in pursuing me until we became friends. Later on, I found myself liking him maybe because he has this charm that every girl couldn’t resist. We dated and our relationship became so intimate but I couldn’t commit for some reasons. At some point, we decided to end our relationship and agreed to date again after 2 years. He promised not to have a girlfriend until we meet again. I also gave my promise not to have boyfriend within that time. Childish? But then, it seems I can’t go on without him. Nasanay na ako na andyan siya so we started going out again. But still, there were no commitment included. Until one day nafeel ko na parang there’s something wrong, we were crazy in love with each other at affected na ang work namin sa pinaggagagawa namin to the point na mamemohan sya for his errors. So I decided to tell him to end everything whatever it is that we had. He agreed. Of course masakit kasi napamahal na siya sa akin. Sinabi ko na gusto ko pa rin siyang maging friend pero he was never clear if gusto niya din na friends pa rin kami. I found out later on that he reconciled with his ex. Okay lang sa akin ‘yun kasi gusto ko naman siya na maging masaya. What hurts me most is he’s acting as if I’m not around in the office and it’s killing me. We’re back to being strangers after all the things we’ve been through. ‘Di ko alam kung bakit siya gan’on. Gusto ko siyang kausapin pero baka mapahiya lang ako kasi previously ‘di niya ni-rereplayan ang messages ko.

  Trish

  Dear Trish,

  Funny how things change in a snap, right? One moment you’re crazy about each other, after a while you end up being the only one left who’s crazy about the person. He loves you, I believe that. You can’t just be intimate with one person, all the time and not feel any crazy mad love about him/her. I believe it’s you who has a problem here because you can’t commit. So he probably decided to make a step back because he doesn’t know where he stands in your life. How about you? Do you, yourself know where he stands in your life? He probably wants an honest to goodness relationship, and he was probably was looking for someone who can say “Hey, he’s mine” and not someone who’ll treat him like a yoyo. Hindi naman siya diet na p’wede mong gawing “yoyo diet”. You had your time with him now let him be with the ex he is now with and wait again for your time. If he ever realizes it’s you who he wants in his life maybe you don’t love him enough to have the courage to fight for him nor commit to him. ‘Di naman kasi pwedeng puro intimate lang tapos hindi naman pala kayo official, ‘di ba?

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

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