The Goal of Marriage

December 10, 2015

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  Hello Dj Chloe,

  Itatanong ko lang po. Kasi kami ng husband ko makakalipat na ng house bago mag Christmas. Gusto ko sana makapag Christmas na kami lang pamilya. Siya, ako at ang anak namin. Ilang years din naman na kasama namin family niya. Siyempre, ako, gusto ko makagawa ng memories na kaming tatlo lang sa new house namin. Tapos siya nagdesisyon siya na dun magpapasko ang family niya–na ‘di man lang nagtanong sa akin. So medyo nagalit ako. And sinabi ko sa kanya na gusto ko sana kami na lang muna. May next year pa naman. Napapansin ko lang sa asawa ko gusto niya parati involve family niya. Gusto ko nga sabihin na ‘wag na kaya kami bumukod kung gano’n rin lang gusto niya. Kasi gano’n din naman eh.

  Nalulungkot ako, Dj Chloe. Kasi bakit naman gano’n, ‘di man lang niya ako pagbigyan. Ako, sumama ako sa kanya, iniwan ko family ko kasi alam ko na may bago na ‘kong pamilya–na siya na at ang anak namin ang pamilya ko. Na this time sila na ang iintindihin ko. Samantalang siya gusto niya parati kasama pamilya niya. Madalas kami mag-away sa gano’n. Kasi gusto niya gano’n parati. Ni minsan nga ‘di niya niyaya pamilya ko. Simula ng ikasal kami ‘di naman ako nakapasko sa amin. Parati na lang dito sa kanila. Parang unfair lang sa akin. Naiiyak talaga ako. Umiiyak talaga ako ngayon, Dj Chloe kasi masama loob ko. Masama po ba ako dahil sa gusto ko ‘yung gano’n? Gusto ko lang po na magkasarili kaming tatlo.

  Mrs. F.

   

  Hi, Mrs. F.,

  I know where you’re coming from and I understand your sentiments. You want to have your first Christmas together as a family. You know, cook and prepare and eat Noche Buena together. Celebrate New Year together. As a wife, it’s exciting to be celebrating your first Christmas in your very own home with your very own family.

  And yes, I can understand if your husband is still so attached to his family. But what I can’t understand is that he never made any intention of inviting or celebrating with your family, your own parents, that is really unfair.

  You are correct with your decisions when we get married we should really leave our parents and be with our spouse, that’s biblical.

  The only solution to your problem is to have an honest conversation with your husband about how you feel and how he is making you feel. Tell him too that you are inviting your family on a separate day so they can also see how “good” your husband is to you, being able to provide you with a decent life and a place to live. Emphasize that to him.

  That’s my two cents. Because if I give you more than that, five to ten cents. You might do something else, knowing how radical of a person I am.

   

  Merry Christmas,

  Chloe

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