The Lord Will Fight For You!

October 12, 2015

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  Dear DJ Chloe,

  I always thought that I married a good husband. We’ve been married for almost 15 years with 3 kids. We never really had big fights until he was pirated by a big company and things between us began to change. I found out that he’s having an affair with his officemate who is the executive secretary of their CEO. I actually met the girl before we had this problem. She’s young and single mom of a five-year old girl. My husband introduced her to me when I attended their company Christmas party. To cut the long story short, my husband’s already with the girl now. He traded a good family and a healthy marriage for a young single mom. I can’t accept this. I don’t know what hits his head and left me with our children alone. I tried my very best to save our marriage and even humbled myself before him for our kids. But his decision is firm and he told me that the girl needs him more than I do. He really thinks that he’s doing the right thing. My sister-in-law even told me that my husband has brought the girl and her kid in their parents’ house in Parañaque. Hindi man lang niya inisip ang mararamdaman ng mga anak ko kung malaman nila ‘yun. What’s worse is he’s letting the kid call my mother-in-law “nanay” which is my kids’ endearment to their grandmother. I also heard that they have plans to get married, mag-iipon lang daw sila. Ganun na lang ba kami kabilis kalimutan, DJ Chloe? I’ve been trying to save this marriage. Now, I cut my communication from him and his family. I don’t want my child to get affected. Am I doing the right thing of giving up on our marriage and not chasing him anymore? Gusto kong maintindihan din niya kung ano ang ginagawa niya at ang magiging kapalit nito sa aming iniwan niya. Sa ngayon, galit ang nararamdaman ko. Galit na galit ako, DJ Chloe, lalo na sa babae niya na para sa akin ay masahol pa sa bayarang babae. Please help me deal with this.

  Maricris

  Dear Maricris,

  It really seems that your husband is under some kind of a spell. I know how you feel betrayed, abandoned, unloved, you feel ugly and you feel so devastated. And it feels unbelievable too, right? Kids are never a guarantee that a husband won’t leave you that’s why it’s never right to fully anchor your life into a man. Your life should only be fully anchored to God. If he has left you already, as what you said in your letter, then the only options you have are these: 1. File a case against him and the other girl and ask for support for your kids (ask a lawyer on what’s the best case for this. A good family lawyer, please. ) 2. If it will help, report both of them to the company they’re working for. They may or may not meddle but it’s worth a try 3. Let them be and let God deal with it and move on with your life (if you don’t want additional stress anymore) it is very hard to fight for someone, for a relationship, for love that’s suppose to be yours. If you’re the only one who’s fighting for it. Maybe you have some shortcomings, but whatever they are it’s not enough reason for your husband to just leave you and the kids as if nothing happened. Sometimes wala sa babae ang pagkukulang..sadyang mahina lang ang lalaki at sadyang na engganyo lang ng bata. Don’t worry tatanda din ‘yun  and please stop blaming the other woman here always. Remember that your husband was a willing partner for her, he pursued her (maybe) and he was the one who left you to be with her. Hindi lang ito kasalanan ng babae niya. It always takes two to tango. Here’s the thing 99% of men who left their families for a piece of meat ends up dealing with the consequences of their actions and their choices. You have your children, focus on them because they’ve already lost one parent they can’t afford to lose another and that’s you. It is hard. It will be hard and it will still be very hard in the days to come. And believe me, God will be your only source of strength. So it’s the right time you start having a relationship with Him. And know that even if you’ve lost everything He will restore everything you’ve lost. It’s exhausting enough to be fighting and bearing all of these alone in my life. During the times I really do not know what to do and where to go. I found rest and refuge in Him.

  Good luck,

  Chloe

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