You Can Stand Alone

October 7, 2015

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  Dear Dj Chloe,

  I’m so stressed and lonely on what’s happening in my life. What should I do to my gambler and alcoholic husband? It’s so sad that all our properties were gone because gambling and alcohol. Our condominium unit and car were sold because our savings was emptied because of gambling too. Now, we got a lot of debts because of him. In our 7 years of being together I did nothing but reprimand him and to make him realize that his actions are wrong. But he’s deaf to my words and takes them for granted. It even came to a point that we’re almost out of food to eat because of him. Like everything’s affected even our relationship. It’s sad to say that I am not 90% in love with him like before because I see how uncertain my future is with him. He didn’t even thought of our little kids. And I was also thinking, I am not the legal wife. I’m his 3rd wife. He was married twice to two different women. He was separated from his first wife who has already another man. The second wife already died 10 years ago. At first, what I know is he’s just a widower. After two years I got to know that he’s really married and the wife is still alive when we had a child. It’s so sad to know that he’s been lying to me but I forgave him. We’re together for 7 years but he never thought of getting annulled with his wife for us to get married. He said that it’s just a waste of money. He’s so unfair, our marriage is a waste of money but gambling is not. What kind of man is he? I’m regretting all these things. What should I do with our situation? Gustuhin ko man po na umalis sa puder niya wala naman po ako matakbuhan kasi po hirap din po ang magulang ko at ayaw ko maging pabigat sa kanila. Hindi rin po ako nakatapos ng pag-aaral kya wala po ako makuha na magandang work para maitaguyod ko ang anak ko kahit mag-isa lang.

  Ms. Virgo

  Dear Ms. Virgo,

  Gustuhin ko man po na umalis sa puder niya wala naman po ako matakbuhan kasi po hirap din po ang magulang ko at ayaw ko maging pabigat sa kanila. Hindi rin po ako nakatapos ng pag-aaral kya wala po ako makuha na magandang work para maitaguyod ko ang anak ko kahit mag-isa lang.

  What advise can I give you? You already gave yourself judgment. You already made it clear that there’s nothing you can do but just stay with him and just take everything he does. So, ano pa? What else would I say? If you honestly think that there is nothing you can do then there is really nothing you can do any more. Binigyan mo na ng solusyon ang problema mo eh, ang wala kang magagawa. Day! Iisa lang ang anak mo, ako nga dalawa eh but I managed by God’s grace. It’s all in the mind. If you keep thinking you’re doomed then you really are doomed! There are so many ways to earn and find money, you know how to cook? Do you know how to sell? Do you know how to do things in the house? Is there anything you know? Make use of it, God would never want you to be in this situation and you have actually placed yourself in this situation. You can by all means also get yourself out in this situation but if you’re saying you want to but you just can’t. THEN WHO AM I TO TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN? You have already stated what you want to believe.

  Good luck,

  Chloe

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