You Can’t Be Friends With An Ex

October 16, 2015

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  Hi Dj Chloe,

  I am a married woman with a three-year-old daughter. I should be happy with the life I have since I am married to a wonderful man and has a very smart daughter who is the center of my universe, but currently I’m not. Recently, my ex-boyfriend came back into my life. He was the first man I ever fell so deeply in love with. I was head over heels in love with him that when we broke up I knelt down before him in front of many people begging him to not leave me. At first we were just friends. I was so excited to talk to him again after all these years of no communication. We first communicated through Facebook then we exchanged cell phone numbers and started talking. It was just casual talks. Slowly, the feelings I had for him 10 years ago, which I thought were now gone, came creeping up on me. Everyday I would wait for his text or would text him first in the morning. I hid all these from my husband.

  One night we decided to meet. Not for a one night stand or anything. I just want to see him again. So since he had broken up with the mother of his son, I set him up with a friend of mine. It was really a stupid thing to do but during that time the only thing I was thinking was I should have a reason to see him. So the day came and he said “yes” to my invitation. We went to my mother-in-law’s house and with us were my husband and our friend whom we’ve set him up with. We had drinks and fun and laughter. I was a bit amazed with myself how casual I can be in front of him. We had a moment to talk to each other and I found out the reason why he and his ex wife broke up was because the girl cheated on him with her boss. At the moment, I can honestly say I pity him. But at the same time I felt like karma has finally kept up with him because he also cheated on me.. That night ended. We had another night out with the same people after a couple of weeks. It was fun. And I’m longing for it. I don’t know how to completely remove this feeling. I know what to do. I should stop all the communication with him. And the mere fact that I am making those plans disguising my motives to see him is already cheating on my husband. Guilt is swallowing me. But my mind is not thinking straight ever since we had the very first conversation again after 10 long years. Hope you can give me something to at least clear my mind a bit.

  Fingers crossed,

  Sandy

   

  “I am a married woman with a three-year-old daughter. I should be happy with the life I have since I am married to a wonderful man and has a very smart daughter who is the center of my universe, but currently I’m not.” So? What will make you happy, Sandy? Seeing your beautiful family get shattered into pieces? Fighting custody rights in court and not being awarded full custody of your daughter because your “wonderful husband” declared you as an “unfit” mother because you had an affair? Will that make you happy? Because if that will make you happy, by all means, GO AHEAD AND KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING AND YOU WILL SURELY HAVE A HAPPY EVER AFTER. I will not delve on how you still feel for this EX who left you and betrayed you, and you knelt down before in front of a lot of spectators in a mall. Because it already happened in the past, it’s in the past. You now have a present and if you mess up your present you will surely fuck up your future, not only yours but the CENTER OF YOUR UNIVERSE WHICH IS YOUR DAUGHTER. I am so sorry for the word really I am, but your letter really disturbed me a lot. I will not make this long because you said you know what to do. So please, do it and don’t delay what you have to do. Habang hindi ka pa nasusunog sa apoy na gustong-gusto mong lapitan. Change numbers. Totally get the EX out of your life. You can’t be “friends” with an EX whom you still have the “hots” for.

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

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