Endless ‘What If’s:’ Navigating the Delusions of Love

Kathleen Senobio

July 28, 2023

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  What if it’s really us?  

  There was a point in my life when I never expected to be distracted by these nagging questions and hopeful thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, there could be something more? Maybe he feels the same way about me? And any questions I could possibly think of him.  

  When night falls, all we yearn for is peace of mind. It’s that tranquil moment we long for, like when we were kids. But then . My world trembled as I found myself consumed by thoughts of him in the depths of the night. I tried to push these thoughts away, but they only intensified. Every time the clock strikes at twelve, I find myself overthinking every interaction, message, or gesture of his. My imagination ran wild with exhilarating scenarios of us together. 

  It was a journey from hopeful love to resenting love. As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve got this nagging feeling that maybe there’s someone else out there. Maybe we were never meant to be together after all. But despite all the doubts and uncertainty, there’s still this tiny glimmer of hope; a “what if” that won’t leave my mind. I know it’s not as simple as just letting go of these feelings. They’re a part of me, and they’ve become intertwined with my hopes and dreams. It’s almost like I’m fighting a losing battle.  

  Over time, I realized that I needed to find a way to reduce my tendency to indulge in idealistic and unrealistic thoughts about romance during late hours. However, I eventually learned to allow myself and accept that experiencing such emotions is simply a natural part of life. I have realized the importance of developing emotional resilience and practicing self-care. By journaling, talking to friends, doing household work, and engaging in activities that brought me joy and tiredness, as to find a way to ground myself and avoid the urge to romanticize every interaction with him.  

  Navigating love delusions at midnight requires self-awareness, emotional resilience, and patience since it can be a trap where we allow our emotions to cloud our judgment. By recognizing the difference between genuine love and delusions, we can ensure that our hearts remain clear and our judgment sound. So, the next time the clock strikes midnight, take a deep breath, ground yourself, and trust that genuine love will find its way when the time is right. 

   

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