How To Respectfully Break Up

Stephanie Palpallatoc, Intern

March 6, 2017

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  Breaking up with your partner will never be easy. It can be stressful and frustrating. Especially to the person whom you have been with for months or years, or to someone whose relatively nice and your mom’s “favorite”.

  But that doesn’t mean that you’ll be tied up to that person forever. There are right steps to call it quits without causing too much harm to the other. Here are five ways that you can break-up with your partner, respectfully:

  Give hints

  Make your partner feel that you’re no longer happy with your relationship together. This is one of the best way to give him hints of your plans afterwards. But this doesn’t mean being rude to him/her.

  Be nice to your partner as a friend, but don’t be so sweet. It will give him/her a different perception and may think that your interest towards that person grew even more, something that you don’t want to happen. Refrain from buying your partner gifts, as well as don’t let him/her give you expensive things. This will just make the feeling even worse when you’re ready to break-up with him/her.

  This can open opportunity for your partner to ask. By then, you can talk about the arising situation in your relationship. This will also help you to weigh if your reasons for breaking up are rationale. And maybe, by the time that you’re trying to talk about things you’ll also get to patch the broken pieces of it. *hoping*

  Do it in-person but not in a public place.

  Confront your partner. This is the most effective way of showing that you value the relationship that you had. Though it’s easier to end a relationship through email, text message, or calls, don’t do it. This will only make your partner feel disrespected. Also, a personal break up would make your partner realize that you are serious about the break up.

  Choose an appropriate place to end your relationship. You may want to prevent the risk of embarrassing yourself or your partner. Choose a private place where you can say your feelings towards the other person, without worrying about the people who might hear your conversation and be the center of attention. This will also help you focus on the things that you want to say to your partner. However, if your partner has a bad temper, consider bringing a friend or a family member, just in case.

  Choose the right time.

  Take into consideration the timing of your break up. Don’t end your relationship during special occasions or events. You may not want your partner to feel sad whenever that day rolls around. Choose a time where your partner is on his/her right state of mind. Don’t break up when your partner’s in a bad mood. He/she will only get even more pissed off and frustrated. Moreover, your partner might end up taking out their anger in you, rather than understanding your point of view.

  Anticipate your partner’s reaction

  Prepare yourself on the possible reaction of your partner. He/she might argue with your reasons, beg to change your decision, or worst, hurt you. Always anticipate these things because being dumped is always a hard situation. Also, when you’re prepared about your partner’s possible feedback, you’ll know what to say or how to react. In this way, you’re preventing the other person on possible manipulation or cause physical harm. It’s also a good thing to consider your partner’s attitude in this kind of situation to prepare yourself more. When you know your partner well, you’ll easily picture out what will happen when it’s time to break up with him. You’ll be able to act more appropriately and you’ll know how to properly approach your partner.

  Honesty is the best policy but you shouldn’t be rude.

  Honesty doesn’t have to be rude. Be careful on the words that you will say to your partner. State the “positive” things first and how you value your relationship with him/her. Then tell your partner the reason/s why you want to end the relationship.

  Pick the appropriate words that you will use in stating your reasons in the kindest way possible, while still being honest. By doing it, you’re not only allowing yourself to state the facts, but you’re also helping your partner to grasp your reasons well.

  Being honest helps your partner to know what he/she should work out in his/her next relationship. It will always take him/her maturity to accept these things.

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