What Is Love?

Adi Miguel

July 14, 2017

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  “What is love?”

  When you were in grade school this question felt so easy to answer in that little slam book.

  “Love is like a rosary full of mystery.”

  “Love is not blind. Lovers are blind.”

  What do kids really know about love, right? When you get in high school, the question got a little bit hard to answer. You were in the phase where you were still trying to figure out if it’s really love that you’re feeling. You were on that surface of defining that heart beat and that unusual feeling in your tummy. You encountered the thoughts “infatuation”, “mutual understanding”, “more than friends, less than lovers”, and so many more.

  When you get to college, everything became so real. The fantasies in your head, the movies you watched, and the words “couple”, “courtship”, “sex”, “holding hands”, “monthsaries”, “break up”, “moving on”, popped. And you can see them alive before your eyes. There was already someone beside you and insanely in love with you; someone to share thoughts with; someone who dreams with you. It felt so real and it felt so eternal. But there were also heart aches and this time you can’t believe them happening to you. You can say that the pain you felt when you were in high school was not legit. The  pain that changed you and your heart. It made you who you are today. This time you were able to define love as something real.

  “Love is not for the faint-hearted.”

  Then you get to the real world. You see all the heart pains the universe has. You see that your heartaches were nothing. You realized that it’s more than the hugs that you want to have or the kisses on the cheek that you always long before you leave the house.

  When you stepped on the real world, you heard stories of separation. You heard words like “annulment”, “divorce”, “battered wife/husband”, “emotionally abused”, “cheating”, “third party”, “failing marriages”, and so much heart-breaking things. And it crumples your heart to see children growing up with so much questions why their parents do not live in the same house. You see woman crying because they hear their husbands on the other room flirting with another woman over the phone. You see a boyfriend cursing his girlfriend on Facebook Messenger. And you found yourself asking, “what is love?”

  You walked on streets and you see a wife nagging her husband in front of many people telling him that he’s of no worth. But on the other hand, you also see your boss every night working so hard for his family, when you know that his wife is on the other street across your office having dinner with another man. Heart-breaking, isn’t it?

  What is love?

  Then you proved to yourself that love is not really for the faint-hearted. It’s not for the weak. It’s not for those who can’t forgive. It’s not for those who can’t accept. It’s not for those who easily gives up.

  What is love?

  In this world, where no one easily gets contented, in this world where everyone still looks for more, what is love? Does everyone have the same definition of it?

  What is love?

  “I always associate love with the word unconditional. Kasi if you love unconditionally, there’s acceptance–na even if your partner does a mistake or disappoints you siya pa din pipiliin mo. However, the idea of just being unconditional isn’t enough kasi ‘di naman pwedeng go ka lang ng go. I think you love unconditionally but it also has to go after respect so the both of you can find the center, which is right, which is wrong and whatever the things that will make your relationship work and last.” –Kevin Margallo

  “Love is coming to accept that every human you meet is flawed, including yourself, accepting it and being at peace with such knowledge.” –Karlen Fajardo

  “Love is patient, love is kind.” –Badeth Rivera

  “ ‘Yung kahit alam mong sinaktan at iniwan ka niya, everytime na naaalala mo siya napapangiti ka pa rin.” –Teph Locsin

  “Love is a poison that kills my ambition.” –Cyrene GB

  What is love?

  People have different definitions of love. We’ll never have the same meaning of it. But that’s what makes it beautiful. Its mess, its craziness, the unknown feeling that it gives—that’s love. It can make or break us. And at the end of the day, whatever it is, that’s where we all go home. Because even if we deny “love is the best thing we do.” –Aeron Eclarinal

   

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