Mismatched sexual desire: How to deal with it?

Albert Rosales

January 21, 2022

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  Mismatched sexual desire: How to deal with it?

  There are some people who have a different sexual desire as their significant others. More often than not, there will be some misunderstandings. Some might use it as a reason to end a relationship.

  So before it happen, here are some tips on how to deal if you and your partner have different sex drives:

  1. Clear what really is your sexual desire

  Some thinks sexual intercourse is an activity necessary to strengthen the bond between couples. Others use it to gain more confidence, while some do it for satisfaction. Whatever the reason behind it, you should ask your partner and clarify what exactly they want.

  These will alleviate the tension between the lower-desire individual and a person with higher sex drive. They cancel out each others expectation and be satisfied with each others sexual performance.

  2. Talk about the frequency of sexual intercourse

  Again, talk. This is the fundamental element of every relationship. Both of you should come up with a satisfactory answer on how often you should have a sexual intercourse. 

  First, try to figure how many times your partner wants to have sex, say in a month. Then, get the average possible sexual intercourse monthly. This will help you get the middle ground on both of your expected number of monthly sexual activity.

  3. Set sex dates/schedule

  This is one of the most important tips. Having a set dates for your sexual intercourse means the person with the higher sexual desire can have something to look forward. They will not ask you every time about any intercourse since there is a schedule.

  Same goes with the person with the lower libido. It will eliminate any worry they have in mind that their partner might ask them unexpectedly. This will ensure that sexual intercourse will only happen on the said date. Hence, he/she can prepare on that schedule.

  4. Consider cuddling up

  Waiting for the dated sexual intercourse can sometimes irritate the person with higher sexual libido. So, try to spend time cuddling up or initiate non-sexual actions like hugging or kissing. 

  Furthermore, couples getting used to cuddling up can rediscover their similarities in terms of any non-sexual activities. This will improve their bond with each other and their own well-being too.

  5. Ask a professional

  If you’re having a hard time figuring out the best time and frequency to have sex then you should consult a professional’s help. There are a lot of sex therapist that offers couples counselling for troubled partners.

  Having a professional to guide you will significantly improve your sexual drive. They could provide some activities to help you sync your sexual desire with your partner.

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