The Day I Had A White Christmas

Adi Miguel

December 23, 2015

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  December 24, 2011, around 9pm, I was on my way home from Batangas. I can’t wait to reach home and tell my two boys that I got a leave and will be back to work on January 5. I opened my organizer and list down all my plans for that vacation—what to cook, what to buy and what my boys would probably want to do. Suddenly, my phone rang. Bing, our close friend, sent me a message saying,

  “Nasan ka na?”

  I wondered why she messaged me like that. It’s been 5 years that we’re friends but I don’t remember Bing sending messages during holidays because she’s always busy.

  “Tagaytay na. Bakit? Pupunta ka ba sa bahay?”, I replied.

  Minutes passed but I didn’t receive any reply from her. Out of curiosity, I called home to ask if Bing’s there but no one’s answering. I sent text messages to my husband but he’s not answering them back. I tried to call his phone but it just kept on ringing. So I called Bing now.

  “Hello, Bing. Ano ba’ng meron?”

  “Nasan ka na ba?”, she said.

  “E papasok na ko ng Nasugbu. Malapit na ko. Nasan ka ba?”

  “Sige, bilisan mo na lang. Nandito ko sa inyo.”

  Then she turned her phone off. I just shrugged. I was still excited with my vacation and I can’t wait to give my presents to my two amazing boys.

  I’m in front of our house and from my car I can see that the Christmas lights were off. My heart pumped to its unusual heart beat. The heartbeat of a mom and a wife. Something not so good is going on. I just went down from my car, didn’t mind my things and everything that I bought. Bing was there waiting for me with Daniel, my son. Daniel ran towards me and hugged me tight. He’s crying.

  “Ano’ng nangyari? Bing ano’ng nangyari? Nasan si Nick?”

  All I can hear that moment was my crying son. Crying not because he misses me or his toy got broken but I know something was taken away from him…permanently.

  “Issa, si Nick…”, Bing said.

  “Bing, ano? Nasan si Nick? Yaya, paki kuha ng phone ko sa sasakyan. Tatawagan ko kuya mo.”

  “Issa, wala na si Nick. Inatake siya sa puso kanina habang nanonood ng movie kasama si Daniel,” Bing replied in a low voice.

  My world stopped turning. I don’t know what to do that moment. No tears. I just sat down and hugged my baby boy. The idea that Nick died wasn’t sinking yet, but seeing the fact that my Daniel lost his dad and I lost my forever partner crushed my heart slowly and it was so painful that it numbed me.

  As I sat down with my son, I had a flash back of our story. From the day that I met him as a friend until he said his last “I love you” was so vivid. I felt his last kiss, his warm hug and his gentle voice. As I closed my eyes, I heard his songs for me. As I lay down my head, I heard him play the violin and the piano for me. I even heard him play my favorite song. As I embraced his favorite pillow, I felt his warmth and his hand touching my hair. Tears began to roll down. I can’t bear the pain of loosing Nick. I can’t even imagine myself standing in front of his coffin. Then I see my Daniel. How will I explain things to him? How will my son face the rest of his life now without his dad, his security blanket? I was scared. I was scared for my son.

  December 25, my son and I were at the chapel. I can’t even bear the pain that these are the things that my son will remember during holidays. I gave his dad’s present. I can’t describe the sadness that my son was experiencing at his very young age. He just hugged his dad’s gift and cried.

  Days passed. The days of celebration has become days of mourning for me and Daniel. On the morning of December 31^st I was at the kitchen to prepare for Daniel’s meal. Suddenly I heard him crying, screaming his dad’s name. I quickly ran up stairs and went to his room but he wasn’t there. I found him in our room, in front of the TV. It was on Disney Channel and was airing Monsters Inc. I said,

  “Anak, bakit?”

  “Mommy, this was the movie we were watching when daddy died.”

  It broke my heart to pieces. I can’t do anything. I silently cried.

  New Year came. Bing and his son, Jj were there with us. Good thing they came because I don’t know how Daniel and I will celebrate the coming year without Nick. Still, friends can’t fill the missing part of our hearts that moment.

  After the celebration and some fireworks Bing and I stayed up for a little chit-chat.

  “Yung araw-araw tinitignan mo yung organizer mo kasi dapat may gagawin kayo ngayong araw na ‘to. Kasi yung 2 linggo para sa kanila ni Daniel. Hindi ko alam kung pano ko haharapin ‘yung araw-araw. Hindi ko alam kung pano ko matutulog. Alam mo yun, parang nag-iba lahat ng setting ng kwento ko nung nawala si Nick. Pano na ko? Pano na si Daniel?”

  January 1 came. I thought I can be strong. I thought I can face the New Year with a strong and moved on heart. But no, I cried again. I woke-up without Nick. I was so sad. When I got home from church I just cried and tried to sleep so I can escape the pain. But I really can’t, I sat down on my bed and without minding anyone, even my son, I said,

  “I just wanna be with Nick! I miss him so much.”

  I closed my eyes and kept the pain inside. And when I opened my eyes the room was very foggy and finally I was with my Nick again.

   

  (EDITOR’S NOTE: The story is a product of pure imagination. Any story similar to this is a total coincidence.)

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