Inside Room 819

Adi Miguel

August 26, 2016

• 

  819, your apartment number. It has been my favorite room for the past two years because that’s where I find you. That’s where I find every piece of you. I have you inside 819–all of you.

  It’s inside this room where we planned our life together. Inside this room we’re looking at a future we both want. You, finishing medicine and getting your license, and me, fulfilling my dream of becoming a photographer.

  I always love how we mess this room up and how we fix it easily. Just like how we fight over big and petty things and mend it through our hugs, kisses, and unconditional love for each other.

  It’s also in this room that I gave you my all for I am certain that you and I are forever. This is where I first made love and promised myself that you’re the only person I’ll make love with for the rest of my life. I told myself that you’re the only one I want to cuddle on rainy nights and gloomy afternoons until I fall asleep.

  I am so sure of you because you’re the only person who believed that I am a witch and that even if we’ll have a mudblood baby, we’ll send him/her to Hogwarts. I am so sure of you because it’s okay to have a midnight snack of a full Chinese meal. I am so sure of you because you’re the only person I want to hug whenever life shit comes. And your chest, your arms, they pacify the arising panic inside me. I am so sure of you because you drink rootbeer while smoking and I always love the smell of cigarette.

  The universe gave me reasons why I want to live a life with you. Because I think, when two persons meet, regardless of who they are in the past, or whatever shit they’ve done in life, they will never feel anything but love. And that’s what I felt everyday with you. I am so sure of you and the life we’ll have.

  I am so sure of you even if you kiss like a grandpa. I am so sure of you even if you sleep while we binge watch Game of Thrones and I won’t mind even if you’ll sleep all the way to the end of the series. As long as you’re intertwined with me. I am so sure of you even if you lock me in your arms while I read even if it irritates me. I am so sure of you even if you spend too much on perfume and shoes. I am so sure of you even if you snore like my dad. I am so sure of you even if you always forget your wallet on our date nights. I am so sure of you and nothing will change that in my heart. I am so sure of you from the moment I said yes to you until now that I’m letting you go.

  For the last time, I’m staying here in your room, which we called ‘ours’. For the last time, I’m kissing you, hugging you so tight, and touching your face. For the last time, I’m smelling your perfume and it’ll stick on my clothes and my skin. For the last time, you’ll give me your grandpa kiss. For the last time, you’ll lock me in your arms but I won’t read any book now because I just want to cherish this moment. For the last time, I’ll smell your cigarette and drink rootbeer with you as we say our goodbyes. For the last time, at least, I know that I have you.

  I might find another muggle or a wizard on my way away from you, I’m just not sure if he’ll let our baby get into Hogwarts. I might not watch Game of Thrones again. I might not eat Chinese food as a midnight snack again. I may not find another arm to make me feel safe just like yours. Because these things, all these, are just yours and they can’t be replaced by anyone. And if my life will repeat, I’ll still choose you for this two years.

  It’s in 819 where I called you mine. And it’s also in this room that I’m saying goodbye.

• COMMENTS