10 Years And We Have No Plans

March 14, 2016

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  Dear DJ Chloe,

  Avid reader po ako ng Chloe’s Inbox.

  Please hide my identity na lang po and call me Ms. Unhappy. I have a boyfriend for ten years and he is also 10 years older than me. I’m turning 35 this August. And then nagsama kami for almost two years. Nagkataon na nakapag work ako ng medyo malayo sa kanya, nasa Bacolod siya while ako ay nandito sa Iloilo. We have plans na magpakasal, ‘yun nga lang ‘di natutuloy kasi wala pa daw siyang ipon. Sabi pa nga niya kahit hindi kami kasal ‘di naman daw niya ako pinababayaan.

  Pero for me, ‘di ako kuntento sa ganitong set up. Iba pa din ‘yung may right ako sa kanya kasi every time na may family gathering sila na o-out of place ako. Until sa nagsawa na lang ako kakatanong sa kanya kung kelan ba talaga and plano o may plano pa ba siya. Kasi panganay ako, DJ Chloe. And every time na tatanungin ako ng parents ko kung kelan ang plano niya wala akong masagot at ako ang nahihiya.

  To make the story short, I’ve decided na makipaghiwalay na lang sa kanya to find my happiness; thinking that he’s not the right guy for me. Naging madalang ang pagtext ko sa kanya at ‘di ko na masyadong sinasagot ang tawag niya. And then last February may nakilala akong guy ka workmate ko pero sa ibang branch naka assign. Nagtawagan kami, nagkita and na-meet ko ang parents niya. Na-in love ako, DJ Chloe ng sobra. Halos magkasundo kami sa lahat ng bagay. Tama po ba ginawa ko, DJ Chloe? Please enlighten me.

  Ms. Unhappy

  Dear Ms. Unhappy,

  10 years and no concrete plans? You lived together and never made things official? Ikaw ang lugi talaga. But, well, things happen for a reason. I know of someone who is also in the same boat. The girl younger and the guy is in his late 40s. I don’t know what the guy is still waiting for kasi marrying age naman na siya. And until now, the younger girl is still nganga.

  I cannot blame you for choosing to drift away. Even I, not knowing where I stand, will walk away. And I do understand where you’re coming from na nahihiya ka sa parents mo.

  Some may probably not agree with me, but here’s what I have to say…

  You’ve waited for 10 years for nothing. I can only think of two reasons, he never wants to marry you or he is gay (no offense meant to our gay friends, I love you all).

  So come clean, make it official with him, the break up.

  Enjoy the possibilities with the new guy. :)
  They say, all things come to him who waits–provided he knows what he is waiting for.  In your case, you don’t. So wait no more.

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

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