6 Years With A Fake Boyfriend

September 8, 2016

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  Hi, DJ Chloe!

  Please, hide my identity. For how many times I’ve tried to write a letter sa inbox mo to share my story but I always change my mind not to. Kasi hindi ko naman alam talaga kung paano. Not literally na hindi alam kung paano sumulat, it’s just that my story is a little bit weird. I don’t know kung merong makaka-relate dito. Almost six years now, I had a relationship through text (year 2008 kasi usong-uso pa ang textmate kasi hindi pa masyadong nahuhumaling ang karamihan sa Facebook). We started as friends and that time I couldn’t imagine myself to fall in love sa taong ‘di mo nakikita. But he proved me wrong. During my hard times siya ang karamay ko and it seems I found my soul mate sa katauhan niya. To cut my story short, naging more than friends kami. Maraming ups and downs ang relasyon na ‘yun dahil nga hindi kami nagkikita. Once, he tried to ask me na magkita kami at magsama na pero umayaw ako. I was 25 years old that time and still in college. I have a lot of dreams for my family and of course sa sarili ko din. Naiintindhan naman niya iyon at sinabi niyang maghihintay siya after six years. So, the world between us rolled by with so much happiness kahit magkalayo kami. I worked after I graduated and we stayed strong. He never fail to surround me with his love and care kahit malayo siya sa akin. So in return, I built my trust to him at binuhos lahat ng attention ko sa kanya to the point na I acted “taken” sa mga nakikilala kong guy at nandoon na ‘yung pangarap na binuo namin pareho na sa tamang panahon magsasama kami. Pero isang araw nagising na lang ako na may pagbabago na. We often argue dahil hindi na magkatugma ang free time namin sa work. Lack of communication na unti-unting parang naging pader between us. I tried to fix. This time I’ m the one who asked him na magkita na kami. Sa madaling sabi ready na ako para sa ano pa man. But he never made an effort para magkita kami instead he applied work abroad dahil ayaw daw niya maghirap kami pagnagsama na. I counted months mula nang umalis siya na wala akong balita mula sa kanya. Until one day I received an overseas call at siya nga iyon. That was only seven minutes of conversation which lasted with his final goodbye. Yes, that was the last time we talked. Naglaho siya na parang bula. Masakit sa’kin ‘yun but I tried to understand whatever the reason why and still waiting for him to comeback. Hanggang sa lumipas na ang five years na kasunduan namin. Since then I started to give him up and accept. Lately, out of curiosity I tried to search him sa Facebook kahit aware ako na hindi siya mahilig sa ganun at wala siyang Facebook account. We shared mine noong kami pa. but then I played Detective Conan just to have answers to my questions. Ang Facebook account ng pinakaclose sa kanya na pinsan “daw” na babae caught my attention. I take time to scroll up and down and I found something. Based sa post niya and the date kung kelan naipost left me breathless. I found it so familiar. Silently I was praying na sana mali ako sa naiisip ko. The pictures he, my boyfriend, uploaded sa Facebok ko belongs to a certain guy na pinsan din niya. Nag friend request ako dun sa guy and he accepted naman. And I proved that he is a total stranger to me. Hindi niya ako kilala. So, the truth is so clear. I’ve been in a fake relationship for so long with a lesbian! ‘Yung kaclose daw niya na pinsan niyang babae at ang naging boyfriend ko ay iisa. Ayoko na ng gulo o ano pa man so I chose to keep it inside me nor have the courage to confront anyone involved. But I’ve been troubled for two years now sa mga bagay na hindi man lang nabigyan ng paliwanag. And the endless pain in my heart sa katotohanan kung paano ako naging faithful sa maling tao, umasa, at naging tanga. God knows how I tried to comfort myself with the truth, to be okay, pero hanggang ngayon hindi ko na alam paano magtiwala ulit. Sa isip ko okay na ako. Tanggap ko na. But deep inside my heart, I’m still longing for that someone I used to love at naging part ng buhay ko sa loob ng tatlong taon. Can you blame me for feeling this way, DJ Chloe? In my vulnerability I told myself, “I really wanna know what love is.” Thanks for your effort and patience to read my long story, DJ Chloe. God bless!

  Just call me Ms. Conan.

  Dear Ms. Conan,

  Hindi mo man lang ba napansin that you were talking to a woman? According to you, lesbian pala siya. She called to tell you good bye, ‘di ba? Boses lalaki ba? Grabe naman if hindi mo napansin.

  One more thing, mula 2008 na texmates kayo, no calls? Texts lang? If this person led you on it’s also because you allowed yourself to be led on. It always takes two to tango, ‘di ba? I don’t really understand the psychology behind people falling in love with someone they met online or thru texts. It’s easy to be someone you’re not behind the keyboard or keypads. Be careful next time. Just be thankful hindi ka napahamak. I don’t have anything against online relationships or text relationships kung ‘yan ang tawag d’yan. For some it works, sa iba hindi. Nothing beats the real deal. It’s done and over with. Get back to reality my dear and move on.

  

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