A Blessing Or A Lesson

November 22, 2016

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  Dear DJ Chloe,

  Good day! Just call me Ms. B. I’m an avid listener of Easy Rock station. I am praying you can spare your time to read my letter and give some advices too. I am a club foot woman, in born though, my feet are different from normal people’s feet. I can walk, run, and do almost everthing. I am a single mom to an eight-year old boy. I’ve been in a relationship for four years. In fact, we’ve just celebrated or rather I celebrated it alone despite na magkasama naman kami last November 20 sa ika 4th year anniversary namin. Kasi ako lang ang bumati sa kanya, ako lang may gift. Not that I’m asking for something in return but affection is fine with me.

  For three weeks, I’ve noticed he has changed. ‘Pag tinatanong ko, nagagalit, pagtine-text ko hindi nagrereply, pagtinatawagan, minumura ako. Tiniis ko ‘yun. Kasi sabi niya pagod lang siya sa work. Hindi na siya dumadalaw sa work place ko lagi, may alibi. He said he is working for us naman daw para pag may kailangan may mapagkukunan. Nakasama na siya sa akin sa pag-uwi ko sa amin nu’ng dumalaw ako sa province namin. May family loves him, may son loves him. He told my son to call him “papa” for he wants to be a father to my son. His family loves me too I can feel that. He too, DJ Chloe, is a single father kaya lang nasa mother ‘yung two kids niya. Ayoko magka-anak kami kasi natatakot ako na baka iwanan ulit ako gaya dati. Habang tina-type ko ang letter kong ito, kakahiwalay lang niya sa akin thru text, calling me names. Kasi I asked him bakit ganito kami. Biglang nagagalit na wala namang rason. Sabi pa niya “sumosobra ka nang pilay ka.” Sa inis daw niya kaya niya nasabi ‘yun. Alam mo, masakit pala pag taong mahal mo hahamak sa kapansanan mo. Sabi niya masyado akong mabait, mapagmahal. Siya daw ang mali, hindi daw ako. Sumulat po ako just to express my pain. I don’t want to inform my family they’ll be hurt. My son will be devastated. But DJ Chloe, I just felt so down. Siguro naman hindi ko deserve ‘to or maybe I must be the one to blame for loving him endlessly? I won’t beg him to come back. But it hurts so much. Hope to hear from you! Thank you, DJ Chloe! God bless you!

   

  Miss B,

  Tinatawagan lang siya nang mumura na siya? So paano pagpinuntahan mo siya papatayin ka na niya? ‘Di naman kaya makulit ka? As they say makulit ka pa sa talangka? Naging clingy and all?

  I can understand, maybe malaki ang insecurity mo kaya you need constant re-assurance dahil sa condition mo. I might just understand him if nakulitan siya but I will never understand him calling you names and “pilay”.

  Ako ang nasaktan para sa’yo. Wala kahit sinong may karapatan na laitin ka. Kahit sinong babae, laitin ka dahil mataba ka na, tumaba ka, or whatever lalo na sa kapansanan mo. Anong itsura ng boyfriend mo? Patingin ng picture? Maka “pilay” siya kala mo sa kanya walang p’wedeng pulaan sa kanya. Pilayin mo rin kaya siya?!

  Miss B, once respect is gone do not think twice removing yourself from the situation.

  Your family may love him or adore him, your son loves him, that’s good but more than anything ikaw ang mas dapat na pakisamahan niya at mahalin at pakitaan ng magandang pagtrato lalo kung sinasabi niya na MAHAL KA NIYA.

  You said, nagbago siya, red flag at nakuha niyang i-point out ang kapansanan mo (pwede namang sabihing sumosobra ka ng bungangera ka). Maybe it is getting into him. Maybe after everything hindi ka pa pala niya tanggap for all that you are.

  And maybe, just maybe, isa lang naman ang reason sa panlalamig ng isang tao, nag-iinit na kasi sa iba.

  Let go of this man who finds it so easy without thinking twice, to disrespect you. Can you imagine what life will be with him? Every time he gets mad he will call you names and “pilay”? I mean, hello! Does he have to rub it in? Bakla yata ‘yan.

  You know, there is no pride of membership, of belonging, of citizenship in the land of the misshapen, the disfigured.

  But there are things people can do to ease the life of someone who has a deformity. Number one, never point.

  

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