Action Speaks Louder Than Words

June 30, 2017

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  Dear Chloe,

  It’s my first time to write for your inbox. Please make my identity secret to you only. My parents have been bragging their grandparents because of my attitude. I know that I’m not hard-headed, pero pinipilit nila na matigas daw ang ulo ko for no reason. Pinipilit nila na nag-aadvertise daw ako on social media, pero the posts on FB & IG are not ads. Lagi akong pinapalo sa kahit saang parte ng katawan, DJ Chloe. ‘Di ba hindi nakakaawa? Sinasabihan pa ako ng hindi daw ako nakakatulong sa kanila, WALANG KUWENTA. Ang sakit ‘non, DJ Chloe, ‘di ba? Sumasagot daw ako ng pabalang sa magulang ko, pero hindi ko ginagawa ‘yun. Last night, my grandmother is bragging about me to my mommy & daddy, but I am irritated sa salita nila na isusumbong daw ni daddy sa lola niya ang mga ginagawa ko in my house in Pasig. Sinabihan ko sila, “Sumbong po kayo ng sumbong, puro sumbong! Si lola ba ang sandigan mo?” A fidget spinner was thrown after I left the living room. I am very depressed at what he always do to me. I know I shouldn’t tell this to you, DJ Chloe, but I don’t know who, until I remembered you, DJ Chloe. Are there effective advices to parents with wrong discipline?

  Hoping for your advice,

  Ben

  P.S: You can communicate with me on FB if you want.

  Hi Ben,

  Kulang kasi ang kwento mo eh, pero ang pinaka gist niya eh ang physical and verbal abuse ng magulang mo sa’yo, right?

  I am not saying it’s right but any form of abuse is clearly wrong….

  What are u advertising daw ba? Are you selling something?

  Sobrang ang hirap from my end magbigay ng opinyon sa kaso mo.

  Ilang taon ka na ba?

  Baka nga sa klase ng pagsagot mo sa magulang mo eh nao-offend sila, ano ba ang sinasabi mo na ikinagagalit nila?

  Minsan kasi may mga magulang din na hindi marunong makinig. Nu’ng panahon namin, ‘di ka talaga pwede magrason. Anak ka lang, ‘di ka pwedeng sumagot, sumunod ka na lang. Kids during our time were not so opinionated.

  I, myself, madalas ako magsukat ng bangko nu’ng bata pa ako, bestfriend ko ang leather sinturon ng tatay ko. ‘Pagsinabing magsusukat ka ng bangko, dumapa ka na at sesentensyahan ka na ng “harumal” ‘yan ang Bicol term for nakakatakot na palo.
  Ng sinagot ko magulang ko noon? Naihi ako sa takot sa batok na inabot ko sa kanila.

  But well, iba na panahon ngayon.

  Why not try following what they want muna? And clearly know and ask and understand what’s making them mad? Baka kasi nakikita mo lang point of view mo.

  I’m not saying that parents are always right but because they are your parents, our parents, they do not deserve any form of disrespect at all. Hindi po dito kasama ang mga magulang na biological lang ang pagkamagulang but never in the real sense of the word. ‘Yung mga gumawa lang ng bata at hindi nagpakamagulang talaga.

  Go to your mother, talk to her in a very respectful way and ask her what seems to be the problem.

  If you can’t reach out to your dad I’m sure your mother can hear you out.

  I am not a typical parent, Ben, I am a solo parent, my relationship with my children are not at all perfect. We all grew up together, it was a struggle, but one thing I learned raising my voice wasn’t effective at all.

  

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