Always Choose Your Spouse First

February 13, 2017

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  Hi, Chloe!

  May gusto lang sana akong i-share at sana mabigyan mo ‘ko ng advice regarding this. I am five years married, no child yet. Employed sa isang government office ang husband ko ay isang engineer. Sa five years namin nakatira kami sa in-laws ko. Nagbibigay kami sa in-laws ko every sweldo ng husband ko and ako naman kahit paano nagbibigay din sa family ko. In five years na ‘yun wala kaming naipundar kundi ‘yung lupa na binili ko thru loan sa isang financial institution. Kung tutuusin kaya naman namin magpagawa pero ang hindi ko maintindihan bakit feeling ko ayaw humiwalay ng asawa ko sa pamilya niya. At isa pa, galante ang asawa ko sa pamilya niya pero pagdating sa’kin mahigpit siya sa pera. Wala pa kaming anak, DJ Chloe. Ang gusto ko sana kahit once a year magbakasyon kami or mag-out of town which is kaya naman siguro namin since pareho kaming may trabaho. Pero sumasama ang loob ko kapag inaaya ko siya, ang lagi niyang sinasabi wala kaming pera (pagalit ang boses). Pero kapag para sa pamilya niya galante siya. Halimbawa, pinsan o kapatid niya ang nag-aya. Kami din ang nagpagawa ng bahay nila, DJ Chloe. Pumayag akong ipagawa namin ang bahay nila nu’ng mag-asawa na kami kasi akala ko kapag pumayag ako ‘yung bahay naman namin (mag-asawa) ang isusunod niyang papagawa. Nakakaramdam din ako ng pgkalungkot kapag nakikita ko siyang bumibili ng mga gamit kagaya ng sofa, dining table, or cabinet. Nas-stress talaga ako. Sumasama po ang loob ko. Alam ko po hindi naman masama ang tumulong or magbigay kasi pamilya niya ‘yun. Kaya lang naisip ko may asawa na siya, dadating din sa point magkakaron na din kami sariling pamilya. Okay lang po ba ‘yung feeling ko na ‘yun? Naiisip ko nga mabait lang ako pero hindi naman ako tanga. Sana po bigyan niyo ‘ko ng advice. Salamat po.

  Lady X

  Magwawala ako kung ikaw!  Ano, nag-asawa siya para magkaroon siya ng “katulong” sa pagsuporta sa pamilya niya?

  Nakakaawa ang mga babaeng nakakapag-asawa ng tulad ng lalaking ito. If you are not ready to l AND TO CLEAVE, do not get yourself a wife!

  Pakasalan mo pamilya mo!

  Ang lalaki ‘pag nag-aasawa dapat iniiwan ang pamilya niya ang magulang niya at ang asawa niya ang dapat na unahin niya. And when I say that I do not mean that you will leave and forget your family, what I am trying to say is for you to contemplate on the biblical instruction of God. That a man should leave his mother and father to join his wife; to live with his wife and start their own family!  Leaving your parents does not mean ignoring them or not spending any time with them. Leaving your parents means recognizing that your marriage created a new family and that this new family must be a higher priority than your previous family. Cleaving to your spouse means recognizing that you are joined, essentially “glued,” to your spouse. Cleaving is key in building a marriage that will endure hard times and be the beautiful relationship that God intends it to be.

  Women! It is very important that before you get married you make it clear to the man you’re marrying na hindi ka makikitira sa in-laws! Una pa lang sabihin mo na.

  Valid lahat ng reasons mo. Valid lahat ng pakiramdam mo. At may karapatan kang mainis magalit at sumama ang loob. People who are like your husband are only those who will not be able to understand you and will say that you are selfish, why? Kasi parehas din sila ng  thinking ng asawa mo. Oo, mahal naitn magulang natin! Pero ‘pag may asawa ka na UNA NA ANG ASAWA MO BAGO ANG LAHAT!

  Tama ka, walang masama tumulong , magbigay ang masama, makapag asawa ka ng hindi ganito mag-isip. He doesn’t have any plans of starting a family with you. I don’t know what his reasons are. Maybe he doesn’t see himself as a husband. But still sees himself as a SON.

  Stay with him and wait if he will ever change and realize what he is doing to you. Keep quiet and endure or you can gladly give him a piece of your mind and tell him that everything he’s doing is hurting you. Sorry, I do not have any tolerance for men who only got married to make his wife suffer.

  

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