Your Betrayer Sometimes Sleeps Next To You

August 31, 2016

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

  I’ve been reading your posts since July and have been wanting to seek your advise ever since. July used to be the happiest month for me until this year. It is now the worst month of my life.
  I’m a 31-year old mother of two kids, a two-year old girl and a one-month old boy born on the 1st of July. I’ve been in a relationship with my husband since July 3, 2005 and we got married on July 6, 2013. We’ve been staying together in the same house since 2008.
  I don’t know how to begin as the pain still hurts me up until this very moment.

  Masaya kami before DJ Chloe. We are both working in a call center but different companies. Yes, nagkakaroon ng problema but there’s nothing that we weren’t able to resolve until now.

  My husband was assigned to conduct training for his process last June and this is where he met this girl. A 21-year old girl. I remembered him mentioning to me about a trainee that looks so young, “parang kinse lang,” he said. But I never thought that “this girl” would destroy our family. I was already 9 months pregnant during that time and I am so excited for my giving birth which we scheduled on the 1st of July via CS delivery. He even had the guts to introduce this girl to me on the second day of my confinement where she only stayed for around 5 minutes at hinatid pa siya ng asawa ko dahil lasing daw. He left me for an hour na walang bantay. I have no suspicions yet during this time until the succeeding days came by and my intuition started kicking in. I saw messages from this same girl with I love you and he also calls my husband baby. I’ve also seen notifications on his email regarding direct message from this girl about their relationship and their dirty talks. Yes, something intimate is going on between them. I even went to his office twice to prove myself wrong. But, no, may relasyon talaga sila. Until I finally decided to leave with my two kids. I didn’t respond to his calls and messages for two days until on the third day I asked him to either make a confession or I will never talk to him ever again. Surprisingly, nagconfess siya. Tama ako, may relasyon sila and they are also having sex. I felt so betrayed. I only gave birth few days back and their relationship started on the same month.
  Nangako siya, nagmakaawa, dahil mahal ko siya kahit masakit sa’kin pumayag ako, DJ Chloe. I gave him a second chance. Pero after a week, balik siya sa old suspicious habits nya. Dala ang fone sa CR, lahat ng password sa mga social media ‘di ko alam. I even caught him deleting threads sa messenger pero, of course, he denied it. Once again I’m back to my crying days. Nasagad na lang ako DJ Chloe this month nang humihingi siya sa’kin ng pera saying na wala na siyang panggastos. Then on the same day I followed him from his office and he went to the girl’s location again. On that night I asked him to leave our house or ire-report ko sila sa HR ng conpany nila. He chose to leave kasi takot siya na mawalan ng work si girl.

  After four days of not speaking, he finally sent me a message asking how we are doing. I felt happy kasi I miss him sa totoo lang. Pero after a few minutes I got a notification on my daughters tablet asking if I want to continue synching the photos so I clicked yes. And boom! I saw pictures of them nagride sila sa Quezon the day before. All the while that he was gone I thought nagmumuni-muni siya about our relationship pero I was wrong. I even asked him about it and he denied it again saying he was alone until I mentioned about the pictures. Grabe siya DJ Chloe. I can’t believe na magagawa niya sa’kin ‘to. Between the two of us I made most of the sacrifices. Pinakasalan ko siya kahit tutol ang magulang ko. How could he do this to us? Pati sa mga anak niya lalo na ‘yung bunso ko who is just almost two months old. Wala na siya dito sa house for six days now. He is forcing me to accept him immediately pero I declined kasi kaya niya lang gusto bumalik dahil nahihirapan siya, walang bahay, walang pera in short wala siyang ibang choice kundi ako. The girl also sent me screenshots of my husband forcing her to get back to him after ko siya i-decline. Sabi ni girl ayaw na daw niya pero since bata pa I don’t really trust her to think nakuha niya pumatol sa may asawa. I now don’t know what will happen next. I am confused. Mahal ko pa siya sa totoo lang at naawa din ako sa mga anak namin. Dahil sa mga nangyari I lost several pounds. You wouldn’t even think na may anak ako. My breast milk supply also went down at naging iyakin ‘yung bunso ko.

  Please do not publish my real name. Thank you.

  Mrs. Troubled

  Dear Mrs. Troubled,

  I feel sorry for what you are going through. Women, we all go through a lot when we give birth. And post partum depression becomes unbearable specially when you are depressed yourself and you are in a depressing state or situation at the moment. This is the time where we really need our husband to be very supportive and to be there when we are at our ugliest and most unattractive. And yet ito rin ‘yung time na lumalabas ang kademonyohan ng mga asawang lalaki ng dahil lang sa tawag ng laman na hindi ma fulfill ng asawang hirap magbuntis o kaya ay bagong panganak.
  You guys are married so that gives you the reason to work things out. But things can only work out if the 21-year old girl is literally not in the picture anymore. But while she is there, willing to be a part of the circus, nothing can ever be fixed.

  You seem to be stable enough to manage on your own while your husband is under the spell of a demon. So I would suggest you teach him a lesson.
  You took him back, right? But he did not stop what he is doing. What’s the guarantee that he will stop his kahunghangan with the 21-year old kid if you take him back again? If you do that you are just letting him enjoy the best of both worlds. He has you and he has the young one he is taking advantage of.

  Teach him a lesson. Show him what he will lose eventually if he will go on with what he is into. It will take a lot of courage and will on your part to keep your dignity intact. And for not taking him back. But if you allow him to make a fool of you over and over again you will lose all the respect you have for yourself. Clearly, there is no love between the two of them. It’s purely lust.

  Kawawa ang 21-year old, actually. Let him be. Let him live the life he wants. Fix yourself. You have kids to attend to, they need a sane mother.

  

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