Chloe’s Inbox – You always have a choice to start over

September 6, 2019

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

  It’s me again. I wrote to you before I think more than two (2) years ago. Thanks.

  I’m here writing you my stories and hope mabigyan mo uli ako ng maganda advice. I met this foreign guy sa isang hotel in Alabang kung saan may event ang office namin. Though he is bit older, pogi pa rin. We exchanged numbers and started chatting thru WhatsApp and we decided to meet again. Every month he visits his growing IT Company here in Manila. For a week of being together with him, we felt na gusto namin ang isa’t isa. We continued the conversation kahit bumalik na siya sa Australia. He told me that he is a married guy with one kid a, seven-year old daughter (he loves love child), married for 25 years from his wife. Hindi niya sinabi ang buong detalye pero 10 months na daw silang “strangers” ng wife niya. At first, ayaw ko sa situation ko, alam ko na married pa rin siya at ayaw ko na matawag na kabit. He told me, wala sa isip niya na may makikilala siyang someone special like me. Last time na nandito siya sa Pinas, sabi niya, gusto niyang itama ang lahat. Sinabi niya sa wife niya na he met me but not with full details. Of course, nagalit si wife and she felt betrayed at lahat ng blame ay sa lalake. I felt guilty also, but I’m blinded with the situation at ayaw ko humiwalay sa kanya ganoon din siya. We only talk on weekdays pag nasa office siya. But weekend—no communication kasi ayaw niya na makita ng wife niya ang conversation namin or IF EVER galawin ang phone niya. One time, sinabi niya sa’kin na kahit ayaw na niya sa wife niya ayaw pa rin niya na masaktan ito. Unfair rin daw sa’kin kasi nalagay ako sa alanganin. Nagulat daw siya, one time, nang sabihin ng wife niya kung p’wede pa nila AYUSIN ang marriage nila and the wife wanted to seek for counselor, kahit ayaw niya nag-agree siya. Hindi daw niya alam kung maaayos or kung hindi maayos, at least nagtry siya. At para rin daw ‘yun sa’kin. Gusto niya maayos lahat, para sa asawa niya, sa ikapapanatag ng loob niya, sa ANAK niya at para sa akin. Gusto niya, walang masasabi sa’kin ang tao. Sabi niya sana daw una pa lang inayos na niya no’ng hindi pa niya ako nakikilala.

  Last time na nag-usap kami gusto niya magstop muna kami mag-usap dahil hindi niya alam kung anong mangyayari, ayaw niya rin masayang oras ko sa pag-aantay kahit ayaw ko pero feeling ko binitawan na niya ako. Sabi niya I should continue my life and if ever dumating or I meet someone he will understand. Or if he is totally FREE he will come back for me. Sa ngayon DJ Chloe, kahit isang buwan na kaming hindi nag-uusap nasasaktan pa rin ako. I asked him kung minahal niya ako. Sabi niya oo. Dahil kung hindi ‘di daw siya maglalakas ng loob sabihin sa asawa niya. Kindly help me on this situation. Thanks and hoping for your advice. Minsan, he breaks his rule. Nagme-message pa rin po sa’kin. Pero after few days wala na naman. There’s a part of me na okay lang maging kabit ako. Pero natatakot ako, paano kung maayos nila ‘yung marriage. Kahit isipin ko na alam ko ayaw na niya sa wife niya pero mahal niya anak niya at gagawin niya lahat para hindi ito masaktan.

  Just call me ANGELA. Kindly play the song I Don’t Want You To Go.

  Hi Angela!

  As always, walang lalaki na mambobola ng ibang babae na pupurihin ang asawa niya. S’yempre ang drama nila ‘di na sila masaya, bruha asawa nila, at kung ano-ano pa. The moment a man starts saying shitty things about his wife please don’t offer yourself as a sound boar. Lumang-lumang teknik na ‘yan.  It’s actually your cue to run for your life.

  I hate to tell you this, but I will. Una, you’re not sure what’s really going on in their marriage, sila lang nakakaalam niyan. It’s easy to say and to pretend na “stranger” na lang daw sila, bakit nakakausap mo ba asawa niya?

  Second, you were and you offered something “new” to him. He’s got company when he’s here and that’s you. No obligations, just fun.

  Third, he was, and he is still married. The things he told you, were just words. And again, it’s easy to just say “we want to fix things or my wife wants to fix things” para makalaya siya sa’yo or para mamanage mo expectations mo. See? He made sure you don’t forget that HE HAS A WIFE0.

  Kaya he is now making a good exit in your life. Napasaya mo na siya, naaliw mo na siya, back to reality na siya. If this guy wants you, he’ll file a divorce and be with you. Sorry talaga but you might just be another Pinay na maaring umasa sa kanya.

  Ang daling mag-exit. Pagbalik niyan dun, change number lang tapos na. Minsan magme-message siguro nakukunsensya, or maybe still wants to keep in touch para pagnandito siya, nandyan ka pa rin.

  ‘Wag ka nang makihati, walang kasiguraduhan ‘yan, and most likely hindi ka pipillin niyan. Marami pang iba.

  

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