Chloe’s Inbox – We always get what we choose

January 14, 2020

• 

  Hi DJ Chloe!

  Happy holidays! I wrote some time para humingi ng payo—five (5) months ago, maybe. I gave birth to a healthy baby boy! His dad was happy, pero hindi pa rin niya masabi sa family niya na may anak na siya. Sabi niya sa’kin, ‘pag malaki na anak ko like seven (7) months to one year, uuwi daw kami sa kanila para nga makita ng parents niya ang anak namin. Okay lang sa’kin. Minsan sinabi ko na sabihin na niya ngayon para malaman namin ang reaction, ayaw niya. Mas okay daw ‘pag personal. So hindi ko na pinilit. Iba kagabi, bigla ko kasi nasabi na umuwi kami sa Mayo dahil fiesta sa kanila at seven (7) months na anak ko nun. Sabi niya siya na lang muna daw ang uuwi. ‘Di muna kami kasama, siya muna daw magsasabi kasi baka daw mabigla mama nyia at baka daw may feelings ang mama niya na ayaw pa siya mag-asawa. Sumama ng konti ang loob ko kasi ba’t ganun? So ang reply ko sa kanya, ‘di ko kako ipipilit ang anak ko sa pamilya mo. Tanggapin nila o hindi kako walang kaso sa’kin. Nainis ako ng konti at nasaktan para sa anak ko. Ang sa’kin lang, kung ayaw nila sa anak ko, or rather sa’kin, wala namang kaso. Naisip ko tuloy, kung hindi ba ako ang nanay ng batang ‘to, may problema kaya?

  DJ, kagabi after kita i-message pumasok siya sa kwarto. Nakita niya ‘kong staring at the ceiling. Niyakap niya ‘ko and asked if may problema ba. Sabi ko ito, “Feeling ko hindi na tayo masaya sa isa’t-isa. Anong gagawin natin?” Reply niya, “Ramdam ko na iritado ka sa’kin, ‘di ko alam bakit pero naisip ko baka pagod ka mag-alaga sa baby kaya hinahayaan kita.” Feeling ko he’s playing guilt trip o baka naman totoo sinasabi niya. Merong isang instance na nagtalo kami. Forgot what was all about, basta nag-alsa balutan siya. Most of the time if ginagawa niya ‘yun pinipigilan ko siya. But that night I let him go. Bumalik siya ng madaling-araw and he cried telling me, hindi niya kayang iwan kami mag-ina. ‘Di ko na alam ano ba talaga.

  New Mom

  Hi there!

  Yeah, I remember you. You’re a bit older than the guy, right? You’re 40-ish. He’s like mid 20s. Okay, maybe it’s your hormones kasi you’re a new mom. But why don’t you look at things differently. I know, it will make you feel fulfilled, assured, if the family gets to know you and that you already have a son with this guy, mas makakampante ka. But it seems this guy is not ready or I don’t know what’s keeping him. Bottomline, sasama lang ang loob mo thinking all about the “what if’s” and who knows what else. Why not be happy instead that he is with you, you now have a child, keep yourself busy with taking care of your new baby. Pakasalan ka man niyan o hindi, ipaalam niya man or hindi may anak ka na, and this child of yours will complete you. Hindi ang makilala ang pamilya niya ang kukumpleto sa’yo, girl. I’m sure ‘pag pinakilala ka niyan sa parents niya you’ll want more. So just chill, live one day at a time. Hintayin mo lang diskarte niya sa buhay niya, ano man ang plano niya. Besides, you can make your own investigation or research and find out kung interesting bang makilala ang mga kalahi niya, dahil baka hindi naman. You know, do some research, if that will make you happy. Find out what you want to find out for yourself. I don’t really believe you when you said this: “Ang sa’kin lang, kung ayaw nila sa anak ko, or rather sa’kin, wala namang kaso. Naisip ko tuloy, kung hindi ba ako ang nanay ng batang ‘to, may problema kaya?”

  Girl, it’s an issue for you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t give a hoot whether he introduce you to his family or not. I’d say, live one day at a time. If you love the guy, then believe his lies if he’s lying. May anak ka na sa kanya, may mababago pa ba? Be happy.

  

• COMMENTS