Family First

January 6, 2016

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  Dear Dj Chloe,

  I lost my dad when I was 5 years old. I have 7 siblings so basically my mom went through hell just to raise us all. So when our eldest sister reached the age of 13, she saw life’s struggle with everything that our mom has to endure just to give us life she wanted for us and it’s not enough. That’s why my sister and mom helped each other.

  My eldest sister worked abroad at the age of 14 just for us to survive. She set aside all her happiness, school, love life, etc., just to give everything we wanted. And yes, she and mom succeeded. They were able to brought us to good schools (with yaya, helpers, drivers, etc. etc., name all the gadgets in store, we’re certainly updated).

  When I was 24 years old, I had a child with a Nigerian and she can’t accept the fact that I of all her siblings would do such thing because she’s really counting on me when it comes to our business and everything. As they call it, I am the KATIWALDAS and KANANG KAMAY. That’s why I did what I had to do. I chose my family over the father of my son because it was against all odds.

  2011, when I met my husband now. He’s a Filipino. We got married because they saw pure intention and love from him. But when my husband and I are already together, I still had to serve them because during the time I am pregnant with my son they’re with me, from feeding bottles to hospital bills. To make it short, I am buried in debt to her that’s why when she had a problem with her husband, we moved here in USA with my family and her children. And now she wants us to settle with them and I like her idea too, but there are things my husband doesn’t like. He told me I am treating his balls as small as a nut because we are just living in my family’s shadow. I even told him to leave his job and just be my guide at work rather than having a driver and all.

  So here’s the problem, we knew each other’s behaviour because are all living under one roof.  Now, I feel like I have to choose between my husband and my family because my husband wants us to fly back home and have our own life but I promised my sister to be with her and the children. Please Dj Chloe, what should I do? Thanks!

  Jane

   

  Dear Jane,

  From what I know, God designed marriage to be for a MAN and WOMAN only. A husband and a wife. And for this, a man should leave his mother and father and be with his wife, ‘di ba?

  I understand you have so much love for your siblings because of the fact na magkakasama kayo sa hirap at ginhawa at naghirap siya kasama ang mother mo to raise all siblings. Does that mean you have to repay her all your life? Because if that was what you have all agreed you should have not considered “marriage”.

  Your husband wants to fly back to the Philippines to have a normal life with you, don’t you want that too?

  Madali lang solusyon dito. Sit down with your sister, siblings, and tell them and make them understand that you are already married and you have your own family to consider and prioritize. But that doesn’t mean you’re not family anymore. Usap lang ang katapat nito lahat. Never assume that they already know what you have in your heart and mind. Walang hindi nadadala sa MAAYOS NA USAPAN.

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

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