First Mistake Lesson

January 11, 2016

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  Hi DJ Chloe, good day!

  I’m a big fan of yours and I just want to share my current situation and to get your opinion too.

  I was in a long term relationship (3 years and 1 month) until my girlfriend and I broke up last year. We broke up because of NAPAKABABAW na reason.

  We just graduated at the same school and also started to work on different companies that time. During summer, I promised my friend who is a student that time that I will help her on their group thesis. However, my ex didn’t approve it and started to become very demanding and annoying. Still, I helped the group and started lying to my girlfriend about my work schedules. I showed willingness to help the group because I want to enhance my skills more, since my work is not related to my passion. I broke up with her because she annoys me very much and she also said that may mahahanap daw akong iba sa grupo na yun. We parted ways and stop communicating with each other. I know I hurt her so much and I can’t stop thinking about her. It hurts me also but I didn’t take any action about it.

  After a month, nagkatotoo ang sinabi niya. Nagka-girlfriend ako sa grupo na ‘yun but it didn’t last long. Because ginagawa ko dun sa bago kong girlfriend ‘yung mga bagay na ginagawa ko dati sa ex-girlfriend ko. Aaminin ko mahal ko pa rin ang ex ko.

  After that, I decided to be alone and fix myself. We have been through a lot on our three years of relationship and right now I am still waiting for her. We became friends again but not very close, I know she is single and I always send her personal messages on her Facebook account. I’ve finally decided that I am going to try to win her back. I think I’ve become more matured than before and I am willing to wait until she is ready. I’ve done unexpected efforts before and I can still do it again. I have my issues back then, but I learned from them. I really love her; however, if she found someone else, someone better or someone that will make her very happy, I’ll accept my defeat but still be there for her if she needs me. My questions are, since I’m trying to win her back again, where do I start? As a woman, do you think I can win her back? Can you please give me some tips on how to make little efforts again? And how to become OPTIMISTIC? Thanks, DJ Chloe! More power!

  Dranreb

   

   

  Hi Dranreb,

  LYING is a sure way to kill a relationship and it did kill your relationship.

  Malakas talaga ang “kutob” ng mga babae. Maybe it wasn’t kutob on her part when she said na magkaka girlfriend kang iba sa grupo na ‘yun, baka nagdilang anghel lang siya. But still, it happened. And she was right.

  Let’s just say, us women, can smell danger that will be caused by the same gender long before it happens. Hahahaha! Prophet of doom kasi kami minsan. Maybe because alam namin usually ang galawan sa mga ganyan. Or baka mali naman ako, nagkataon lang.

  The good thing about this is you have learned a lot from your own mistake. And have probably learned that a relationship you value enough is not worth being risked over some group thesis. Now, as you’ve said, you’re more mature and you know what you want .

  You can always take a chance, all the chances, because it’s something that we get every day. A chance to make up for things, to do things right, and to make things right.

  If she allows you to have another chance on her, good. If not, respect her decisions. You’ve had your time, maybe this time is not for you anymore.

  I cannot really tell if you still have a chance with her because you probably made her feel she’s not worth keeping and she can be dropped like a hot potato anytime she becomes annoying. But who knows?

  Where do you start? Start by being friends. If she doesn’t want you as a boyfriend for now maybe she’d be okay with you as a friend.

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

   

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