Friends With Benefits Has No Benefit

May 18, 2016

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  Today on #ChloesInbox…

  Hi DJ Chloe,

  Good morning po at sa lahat po ng nakikinig. Nais ko lang po humingi ng payo. Isa po akong college student, graduating. A year ago nagkaroon po ako ng nobya pareho po kami ng school at graduating na rin. Isa po siyang architecture student at ako naman ay isang pre-school teacher.

  Last year, naghiwalay po kami dahil sa pag aaral. Nagsabay po kasi ‘yung OJT, school, work at family problem kaya naglead to break up ‘yung relationship namin. After a week, nagkausap po ulit kami from legal relationship ay naging illegal po kami. Bumalik kami sa mga dating gawain ng magnobyo at nobya. Gala, kain, at bonding sa mga favorite spots namin. Though wala nang ‘kami’ dahil mahal ko siya, DJ Chloe kaya I just went with the flow but she left me again last November. Naging ako naman po ‘yung abala sa OJT. Sa pagpasok ng taon nadivert ‘yung atensyon ko sa pagtuturo. But lately, after one month na ‘di niya ‘ko kinontak nagkita ulit kami dahil nalalapit na ‘yung birthday niya. By the way, I made a promise to her nu’ng kami pa na lagi niya kong kasama magcelebrate ng birthday niya. I love her so much, DJ Chloe kaya lagi ko ginagrab ‘yung opportunity na makasama o makausap siya. Hindi ko na inisip kung may kami o wala. Ayos lang din sa’kin na napapasaya ko siya. I understand na kailangan namin maghiwalay para makapagfocus sa personal goals namin.

  Pero DJ Chloe, bigla-bigla na lang siyang nawawala at bumabalik.  ‘Yung assurance na gusto ko, ‘di ko alam kung mahal niya pa ba ako o hindi? Help me DJ Chloe to clear the things sa’kin. Thanks po. God bless

  Haven

  Dear Heaven,

  You will never get the assurance that you have been wanting to get from someone who never wants to commit.

  You said it yourself, “wala ng kami”. Pero ginagawa niyo ang mga gawain ng isang “may kami”. It is clear that “friends with benefits” ang gusto niya. And she doesn’t want to be called “your girl”.

  Alam mo hanga ako and at the same time nababahala sa mga babaeng kaya ang ganitong set up.

  What if mabuntis? Okay, granting na maingat at hindi nabubuntis pero sex is an ultimate expression of love, ‘di ba? You do it only, repeatedly, with someone you love! And if you do it just for the sake of doing it then you should think about this. You two are not exclusively banging each other. She’s banging someone else too and that’s alarming.

  Nawawala siya at bumabalik. Kasi ‘pagbalik niya andyan ka pa rin.

  If she doesn’t want a commitment then by all means stop taking advantage of her. Ine-encourage mo ang behavior niyang magpakasira by being there when she needs a companion in bed. That’s promiscuity.

  You want me to make things clear for you? There is no “kami” so stop seeing her and save yourself for that one woman you will call “yours”.

  

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