How Do You See Yourself Matters More

November 11, 2016

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  Hi Ms. Chloe,

  Please hide my identity. First, I would like to introduce myself. I am a single mom of two kids. Magkaiba sila ng ama. Cguro iniisip nila na malandi ako. Minsan iniisip ko rin bakit nging gnito ang buhay ko. Ngayon, meron akong partner sa buhay. Mas bata sya sa akin ng nine years. Oo, aaminin ko na naiinsecure ako kapag hindi kami magkasama dahil bata pa siya, p’wede pang mkahanap ng mas babagay sa kanya. Isa pa, may mga anak ako. Hindi ko alam kung talagang tanggap niya ang pinasok niyang relasyon. Ano ba ang dapat ko gawin? Kasi ramdam ko na parang ayaw na niya. Lalo ‘pag nasa kama kami. Parang hindi siya nasisiyahan. Parang wala siya laging gana. Dahil ba matanda na ako? Please help. Thanks.

  Verna

  Hi Verna!

  While it’s normal for us human to think that way, ang isipin ano ang iniisip ng iba about us, mas maganda na bago mo ‘yan problemahin isipin mo muna kung ano ang tingin mo sa sarili mo. Seriously, it doesn’t matter what others think of you. What matters is what you think of yourself.

  If I were to even think of what others think of me and I would want to tell them I am not this and that–Day! It would take a lifetime of me explaining and that’s tiring!

  Minsan iniisip mo lang ‘yan. Ikaw ang nag-iisip na iniisip nilang malandi ka. Wala naman talaga silang pakialam sa’yo dahil may mga buhay din sila.

  So what if you have kids and they have different dads? May magagawa ka pa ba to undo? For as long as you are doing your best to feed them, clothe them, send them to school and be the best mom to them at ‘di ibang tao ang naglalagay ng pagkain sa hapag kainan niyo at ikaw, the hell with them.

  You’ve done stupid things. It’s done and over with. Now it’s time to straighten up and to shape up and build a future.

  Do not ever think that your children are mistakes, they are not. These kids should give you the direction you probably still don’t have in your life.

  As to this boyfriend of yours or partner, alam mo ang mga boyfriend/partner pampasaya ‘yan ng buhay eh. ‘Pag pasakit ang binibigay sa’yo, bitaw. Love should make you happy, ‘di ba? Well, part ng relasyon ang ups and downs. Pero ‘pag marami ng downs, re-assess. Maybe it’s not working. Maybe it’s not for you. People may not tell you how they feel about you but they will always show you.

  Baka naman duda mo lang lahat ‘yan. If you think may problema sa’yo o sa performance mo then shape up. :) Sex is an important factor in a relationship buts it’s not everything that makes up the relationship. You know, a man who really loves you will still love you even if you’re the lousiest in bed and even when you look your worst in the morning. If your man makes you feel you need to compete then it’s up to you if you’re up for it. But that’s too tiring. Besides, dear, you have your kids. You’d rather take care of them than to compete all your life. Tatanda tayo lahat at ‘di mauubos ang mas bata sa’tin. Maghanap ka or ipanalangin mong bigyan ka ng taong gustong tumanda kasama mo. :)

  

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