I’m Trying But He’s Pushing Me Away

February 17, 2016

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  Dear Chloe,

  I just read the letter you posted and ang advice mo is alagaan mo or isoli mo sa nanay niya. You know what DJ Chloe, maraming beses akong niloko ng asawa ko. Maraming beses ko din siyang pinatawad to save the family for my kids’ sake. Pero dumating ‘yung time na nadiscover ko na lahat-lahat ng panloloko niya sa amin and I decided to walk away. Then nastroke siya. Kinausap ng mga hipag ko ang panganay ko na sila na lang mag-aalaga dahil alam nilang galit ako pati sa kanila dahil kinunsinti nila siya. Then after two months umuwi ‘yung asawa ko sa bahay namin sa Laguna and my youngest daughter is asking me kung hindi ko ba daw aalagaan ang tatay niya dahil nakakaawa daw. I said no. Ayoko at hindi ako handa na alagaan siya dahil if he did not respect me before I think it’s my turn to respect myself now. Tama ba ‘yung desisyon ko? Do I have to feel guilty for that?

  Pinili ko na lang manahimik kasi I know I’ve done enough despite sa mga ginawa niya sa akin. Nu’ng nasa ospital pa siya, nakita lahat ‘yun ng mga anak ko, masakit pero tiniis ko, one instance, the nurse asked me to feed him kasi paiinumin nila ng gamot. You know  what he did to me? Sinipa niya ako at sinabing gusto ko na daw siyang mamatay talaga. That was in Asian hospital at marami pang ibang ginawa niya sa akin. Kaya ayoko na, namatay na ang lahat ng naramdaman ko paara sa kanya.

  Mrs. V

  Dear Mrs. V,

  First, he never asked you to take care of him. Bakit ka magvo-volunteer alagaan?  May sakit na siya mapagmataas pa siya? Siya na!

  See, this is a perfect example, an eye opener. No one is indispensable in this world. Kahit pa padre de pamilya ka at ikaw ang kumikita at ang asawa mo eh nasa bahay lang, pag binawian ka ng lakas, asawa mo ang mag-aalaga sa’yo. Dapat ganun, eh pa’no kung  ‘di mo trinato ng maayos ang may bahay mo?

  Some people exhaust their partners, akala habang buhay malakas, habang buhay macho, I cannot blame you for choosing not to take care of him. May mga anak siya, may mga kapatid siyang kunsintidor, sila mag-alaga.

  Good for you, you were able to leave before siya mastroke (sorry, I’m mean). Imagine after magpakasarap sa iba, ngayon at may sakit ikaw mag-aalaga? God’s purpose for marriage is permanence. But it’s the same way He also instructed the Husbands to love their wives like how they love Christ. Hindi ako pastor and I’m not religious. I’ve seen people in “forever”. It takes a lifetime of sincerity, loyalty to be in a “forever”.

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

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