It Is Always Up To You

November 20, 2017

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  Hi DJ Chloe,

  This is my first time to write and share my story. Actually, I attempted many times and now I finally decided to write anyway. Sabi nga nila alam mo naman ‘yung sagot but you chose to ask for advice because you want to hear the ones you WANT to hear. Lumaki ako sa pamilyang pina-prioritize ang studies before entering into relationships. My parents set my mind not to have a boyfriend until I finish college. Na-inlove and nagkaboyfriend ako six years ago during my first year in college. I was so in love to him, DJ Chloe, he was my first love and first boyfriend. Natakot ako na baka pahintuin ako sa pag-aaral kapag nalaman ng parents ko na may boyfriend na ako kaya I decided to hide it from them. Our relationship lasts for almost two years.

  Two years full of happiness and pains. Kahit sobrang sakit, nakipaghiwalay ako sa kanya after I found out na may dine-date na siyang iba. Hindi madali i-let go siya pero iba kasi ang na-feel ko that time. I felt like he’s really serious with the girl. Dahil nga hindi kami legal sa family ko, alam kong naibigay ni girl lahat ng hindi ko kayang maibigay sa kanya and all the circumstances na pwede kapag legal ang relationship. A friend of mine once told me na big factor sa guys ang gawing legal ang relationship lalo na sa situation ng boyfriend ko na four years older than me and wanting for a serious and stable relationship. I want to but I was too young and scared, DJ Chloe. Last year, we had our closure. Napag-usapan namin ang lahat. He gave me answers sa lahat ng naging tanong sa utak ko.

  Alam kong mahal ko pa din siya dahil masakit pa din sa akin madinig ang lahat ng ‘yun. He also confessed to me that he will be soon a father. Sobrang sakit, DJ Chloe. Madaming taon ang lumipas pero siya pa din ang mahal ko. Nu’ng nalaman ko ‘yun, pilit kong tinanggap at alam ko sa sarili ko na this time I will finally close the chances for us and will move on for good. It was a relief for me nu’ng naramdaman ko ‘yung forgiveness and acceptance na matagal ko nang gustong maramdaman. I was so happy kasi naramdaman kong unti-unti na ‘ko ulit nabubuo not until magkita kami ulit this year. I never imagined that we could talk again the way as friends. No hard feelings.

  That’s the time I thought and said to myself ‘naka move on na siguro ako’ but I was wrong. He’s showing and making me feel that we still have hopes for our relationship. I know hindi na pwede even though they’re not married, they can still be called a family. Mahal na mahal ko pa din siya, DJ Chloe. Ang sakit. Ang hirap. My mind is telling me to forget him and accept everything. I love him so much. I can still feel the strong connections between us. He keeps on coming back to me and telling that he knows someday we can be together again. Inamin niya sa akin na minahal nya si ______  for a reason dahil naramdaman niya sa kanya na kaya siyang ipaglaban sa family niya na hindi ko nagawa noong kami pa. He also told me na if you love a person for a reason, there will also be a reason to unlove her. I also believed him when he told me na alam niya sa sarili niya na mas minahal niya ako. I don’t know why I kept on feeling that someday we can fix our relationship but whenever I’ll face the reality it just always gives me a NO. Is it right to hope for that there will be a time the doors will open for us again?

  Hope you can help me. Much love for you and your show.

  Please hide my real name as Claire. Thank you so much DJ Chloe.

  I found out sa isa nyang friend nagkaroon pala sila ng secret marriage. The last time I asked him kung kasal na ba sila he told me hindi sila kasal. Ang sakit, DJ Chloe, nagsisinungaling pa din siya. Tama na sigurong umasa ako, paulit-ulit lang akong nasasaktan sa kanya. Please help me, DJ Chloe, I don’t know how to stop. I just keep on hurting myself. Gusto ko na umalis sa sitwasyon na ‘to. I’ve been stuck here for many years. I don’t know where to start again.

   

  Hi Claire,

  It only takes a decision, a big decision to finally stop.

  Iwasan siya, iwasan ang lahat ng bagay na makakapag paalala sa kanya.

  I asked a friend, was there ever a time na nakita mo ex mo somewhere? Nakasalubong? Sabi niya, hindi, wala.

  So that means napakalaki ng mundo Claire para sa isang taong gusto talagang umiwas at magbago ng tuluyan ang takbo ng mundo at buhay.

  Isang malaking desisyon lang ‘yan. You have all the reasons to let go, Claire. May asawa na, may anak na, kasal na, so ano pa?

  It wasn’t your fault na ‘di mo siya naipaglaban, bata ka pa, at isa pa hindi masamang sundin ang magulang.

  In time, you will find out why things didn’t work out for the two of you. For now, the choice is yours to make, you want change? You want out? Decide to do it.

  

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